


Pies and Prejudice

by Cassiebobassie



Series: 14 (AU) Seasons Where Dean and Cas are Canon [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean/Cas Pinefest 2018, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pride and Prejudice References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 08:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14132538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassiebobassie/pseuds/Cassiebobassie
Summary: It’s eight Weeks until graduation. Midterm grades are out, and Dean is in danger of not graduating. His mom has worked out a solution: Castiel Novak–the likely valedictorian will be Dean's tutor.Mary thinks her plan is a master stroke. Her eldest son needs a passing grade in English, and her youngest could use a friendship with the nearly perfect son of the Governor, especially since the Novak family has a long line of Stanford alumni.What Mary doesn’t know is that Dean and Cas have history–a history that they’ve both kept hidden.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art for this challenge is created by the wonderful Liz at wheres-Cas. Links to her work will appear in the last chapter, too, with her lovely art. [Link](http://wheres-cas.tumblr.com/post/172413633320/heres-the-art-i-created-for-pies-and)

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

**It is a truth universally acknowledged that a high school senior with an F in Brit Lit must be in want of a tutor.**

Dean picked his phone off his desk and squinted at the screen. He didn’t recognize the number. Who the hell was this? And how did they know he had an F? Dean glanced around the Math classroom, sure that any prankster wouldn’t be able to hide a smirk. But most of the students were either busy with one of Mr. Turner’s never ending worksheet packets or talking with their friends. Gordon Walker was teasing some girl and Alastair was being his typical asshole self and egging the guy on. Neither had their phone out. So his primary suspects were clean. Unless this was Sam.

**DEAN:**

**Who the hell is this???**

The texting indicator blinked and blinked, but for a full minute no reply came. Dean rolled his eyes. When Sammy got skipped forward three freakin’ grades a few years ago, he’d been psyched. Sure, his brother was a certifiable genius and a super nerd, but Dean would get to see his little brother every day at school, and he’d be able to protect him. Dean wasn’t planning on sitting in all the AP and honors courses his brother wanted. History and English were for the birds, man. And he knew they’d have a different set of friends. But they’d be able to graduate at the same time, and that was awesome. There were some downsides though. Especially when his _little_ brother wanted to lecture him on his English grades. Or bitch about the fact that Dean read for fun but fell asleep reading assigned texts. The ribbing he was getting at home since midterms was definitely not in the pro-column. This could definitely be Sam. He loved his pranks almost as much as Dean did.  

His phone buzzed again. When Dean saw the message, he shivered.

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

**Castiel.**

This could _not_ be happening. Sammy would never do this. He didn’t know the whole story between Dean and Cas, but he knew enough. Was Dean being catfished?

**CAS:**

**Castiel Novak.**

**CAS:**

**I sit near you in Brit Lit II.**

Ok, so this _was_ Castiel. Only he would try to play like they needed an introduction. Lawrence High wasn’t a large school and the senior class was pretty small. They weren’t all friends, but they knew each others’ names. And everyone knew Castiel Novak. He didn’t need an introduction. Only Cas would try to act like they were strangers. After 4 years of high school. After what had happened between them Freshman year. Ok, Castiel-pretend-stranger-from-Brit-Lit, two can play that game.

**DEAN:**

**Deep blue eyes. Crazy sex hair. Right?**

**CAS:**

**… Perhaps???**

Dean huffed a laugh. This guy was unbelievable. Unbelievably hot, too, but who was counting?

**DEAN:**

**Dude**

**DEAN:**

**Seriously**

**DEAN:**

**Anna’s brother right?**

**CAS:**

**Yes.**

Dean’s eyes narrowed. So Cas really wanted to pretend there wasn’t any history? _Sorry you don’t like confrontation or awkward conversations “Castiel Novak” because you’re about to get one_ , Dean thought as he punched letters on his keyboard.

**DEAN:**

**If u wanna get in a guy’s pants just ask him out ;)**

**DEAN:**

**No need to get all flirty with the chick flick quotes**

**CAS:**

**This is not a flirtation.**

Of course, it wasn’t. Cas had made it clear that he was too good for Dean Winchester ages ago. So why was he reaching out now?

**DEAN:**

**Ok?**

**CAS:**

**Mr. Singer and your mother requested I contact you.**

**CAS:**

**They informed me that you will likely repeat this year if you fail to improve your  grade in our class. I am staring at a STACK of work Mr. Singer has for you.**

Dean shook his head. He was going to have to sit his mom down and beg her to stay out of his business. She was always trying to help, but more often than not she over-stepped. And now she’d messed up big time. He hadn’t told her about Freshman year. The only person he’d told about that whole disaster had been Charlie, so he couldn’t blame his mom for involving Castiel at this point, but this is why he asked her to let him handle his own life.

**DEAN:**

**And why would a guy like you wanna help me out? Is my mom paying you a mint or something???**

Dean stared at the the blinking ellipsis waiting for Cas to finish typing. He tried to crush the random hope that he was now part of the people that Cas considered worthy of help. Cas’s group of friends and family acted holier than thou about everything, as though they couldn’t be bothered with the plebs in Lawrence and definitely not at Lawrence High. But Cas was different. He talked to a lot of people outside his group, and he volunteered to help kids study after school, and he visited dog shelters on the weekend, and he joined the entomology club and took care of bees with a bunch of nerds that he treated like friends.

But he didn’t treat Dean like a friend. Ever.

Dean kept staring at those three blinking dots, worried about what Cas could be typing. He sure was taking a while.

**CAS:**

**I won’t be compensated.**

_That’s it?_ _That’s all he wrote?_ Dean thought, confused and a little suspicious.

**CAS:**

**When I went to set up for the weekly meeting of MUN in Mr. Singer’s class, I overheard him speaking with your mother. I offered my services.**

**DEAN:**

**Not buying it Castiel. What’s in it for you?**

**CAS:**

**Why not help you, Dean? It costs me little after all. I enjoy literature. I have extra time, so I am more than happy to help. It’s really as simple as that.**

Simple? Nothing between the two of them was simple. And Castiel _knew_ that.

**DEAN:**

**Yeaaaaah still not buying it Castiel. U never talk to me at school.**

**DEAN:**

**U and ur friends treat most of us like shit.**

**DEAN:**

**And I’m supposed to believe ur helping me outta the goodness of ur heart??**

**DEAN:**

**Dont think so, mister I-only-making-perfect-grades fucking Castiel Novak**

**CAS:**

**Do you want my help or not, Dean?**

Truthfully, Dean would rather go toe to toe with Alistair than have Castiel’s help graduating. And Alastair was freaking terrifying. Bad enough that Cas knew he was flunking. But now he had to take the guy’s help? No way.

Besides, something about this whole set up felt wrong.

**CAS:**

**I am trying to save you from several miserable months of summer school or perhaps even an entire SECOND senior year at lovely Lawrence High.**

**CAS:**

**You should show me some respect.**

**CAS:**

**I could easily let you fail.**

**DEAN:**

**Whatever man. Take a flying leap.**

**CAS:**

**This time next year, I’ll be sitting final exams at Johns Hopkins. And, meanwhile, you could be…**

**CAS:**

**I don’t know… earning a rather solid $8 an hour stocking shelves at the Gas n’ Sip. Or, if you’re lucky, you can spend your off hours romancing some dark-haired divorcee.**

**DEAN:**

**Hey!**

**DEAN:**

**That thing with Mrs. Talbot was just a rumor!**

This is why Castiel Novak got under his skin. Novak and his crowd always assumed they were better than everybody else. The guy knew next to nothing about Dean’s current life, probably never bothered to look in his direction, and he thought he knew Dean’s past, present, and future. Too bad the little jerk couldn’t separate fact from fiction. That Talbot rumor was three years old. And Dean was definitely not destined for the damned Gas n’ Sip.

He had half a mind to punch the guy in the face when he saw him in the hall. The problem was, of course, that he wasn’t all wrong. Dean was failing. And badly. Was getting Cas’s help the only way out?

**CAS:**

**OR, if you refuse my aid, you will be sitting, again, in Mr. Singer’s classroom … with its barely functioning air conditioning… reading Romeo  and Juliet for the second time. What’s it going to be, Dean? Couplets or “Cougars”?**

Was he really supposed to accept help from a guy who actually thought he’d been with a teacher? Who had put him down more than once?

**DEAN:**

**This sucks**

**DEAN:**

**Couplets I guess**

They _were_ graduating in a few weeks, and there was no way Dean would catch up on his own. Dean couldn’t refuse Cas’s help. Just like he couldn’t seem to stop liking the guy even though there was no hope that Castiel would ever return the feeling. Apparently, Dean was a glutton for punishment.

**DEAN:**

**Man my mom really asked you to do this?**

**CAS:**

**She did. I am happy to help, Dean, honestly. Saving teenage souls from the tortures of high school is kind of my thing.**

**DEAN:**

**ur thing? Seriously man, I kind of thought ur thing was being an asshole**

**DEAN:**

**But its awesome if u can really help me. I actually do have big plans for next year, and I need to graduate to make shit happen, u know?**

**CAS:**

**What sorts of “big” things?**

He erased _Ready to admit you don’t know everything about me?_ And just went with his default mode: flirty Dean Winchester.

**DEAN:**

**Wouldn’t u like to know? ;)**

High School had taught him, for better or for worse that there wasn’t much a wink wouldn’t get him. Except for Castiel, of course, but, hey, it never hurt to try.

**CAS:**

**I would like to know, yes. Perhaps we can talk about your plans during our first study session. I could even help you prepare university application essays if you’re interested.**

**DEAN:**

**Anyone ever tell u to take it easy Cas**

**CAS:**

**< Bee emoji>**

**DEAN:**

**Is that a Bee?**

**CAS:**

**They are very productive creatures, Dean. It wouldn’t hurt you to be more like them. ;)**

**DEAN:**

**Now that is definitely a … what did ya call it… a flirtation, right??? Puns are like ur move huh Cas?**

**CAS:**

**Wonderful, Dean. You know what a pun is, and you recognized my opening Austen quote! This is a very promising beginning, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Big deal man. So I’ve watched a freakin old times chick movie**

**CAS:**

**Movie?**

How could this guy be real? Cas didn’t know it was a movie, too? Well, there was no way Dean was admitting to reading the book **.**

**DEAN:**

**Anyway, how we gonna do this? U comin to my house? Or what?**

**CAS:**

**Well, in seven weeks time, you will need to deliver to Mr. Singer over 10,000 words of product: various essays, a poem, a few informal responses and a one-act play that modernizes a work previously assigned in the course.**

**DEAN:**

**Kill me now**

**CAS:**

**So I think we should begin as soon as possible, yes? When will you be available?**

**DEAN:**

**Let me check. The bell’s about to ring for lunch. I’ll get back to you after.**

Dean wiped sweat from his brow. He had to find Charlie.

Standing near Charlie’s locker desperate for advice, Dean kept poking his head around the corner. He knew Cas had a chemistry class down the next hall, and he would have to pass this way to get to lunch. Dean definitely did not want to see Novak, not until he was sure how he should play this. Where was Charlie?

She was the freaking Queen of strategy, the Queen of Moondoor. What was the good of being a handmaiden if you couldn’t really on your Queen when you were under siege?

Dean licked his lips, nervous. He’d been waiting for Cas to show him some positive attention for _four_ years, and now what was he going to do? Good things don’t just happen. Not like this. Charlie…

Dean leaned his back against the locker and closed his eyes, trying to get his breathing and anxiety under control. He rubbed his neck, hoping to message away the nervous tension. Then he heard, “Balthazar, don’t be ridiculous!” and gasped at Cas’s deep voice ringing down the hallway in outrage. Apparently, today, Balthazar was annoying his best friend Cas as much as he always annoyed Dean. Could this day get any stranger?

Cas was headed this way, and Dean scrambled to open his locker door just to give himself something to hide behind. He didn’t want to see Cas, not yet. Not before he had time to decide what his next move should be. Charlie would help Dean decide on a time and place for tutoring. She would also help him decide if he should try to aim for Castiel and graduation, or keep his head on right and focus on passing Singer’s class.

“Me? Ridiculous? Cassie,” Balthazar said, his voice getting louder as he walked down the hallway, getting closer and closer to Dean. “Come on. We’re best friends. You don’t have to hide it from me, angel.”

“Hide what, Balthazar? Quit being suggestive and say clearly what you mean.”

“Cassie, you say you don’t hound after the perky ass of one Dean Winchester, but you have a sparkle in your eye whenever he’s around. It gives you away.”

Dean blushed. Balthazar’s tone made his head spin and left him unable to guess what was pure teasing and what was serious. Dean pushed himself more fully against the locker and hoped neither Cas or Balthazar turned their heads down the side corridor on their way to the lunch room. He was determined to keep his perky ass out of this, at least for now.

“I have no interest in Dean Winchester whatsoever!” Cas insisted, his voice low and threatening. “I am _not_ , as you say, in raptures over his eyes or … or his ass,” he hissed. “Don’t give me that look, Zar. Sure, his eyes are a rare green and his ass isn’t half bad, but who cares? No matter what you say you remember, I am sure I have _never_ written poems about the constellations of his freckles or talked for hours the shining beauty of his soul!”

Cas’s voice was thick with outrage and air quotes, and Dean could easily imagine his angry glare. Those intense and threatening eyes had been aimed at him before, and they were freaking scary. But Balthazar just laughed.

“I assure you, Zar. Dean hasn’t charm enough to tempt me. His father was a mechanic for Heaven’s sake. You think I plan on wasting my time on a skirt-chaser who’s greatest aspiration is to eat with his mouth closed?”

Dean is caught between laughter and horror. Every time his life has intersected with Castiel Novak’s all hell’s broken loose. Of the three of them, one is full of crap. Either Dean is a naive idiot who has spent his years in high school obsessing about a guy who seems angelically kind to everyone but him. Or Cas is hiding something about what he feels for Dean. Or Balthazar is full of shit and knows that teasing Cas about liking another dude—especially Dean—would set off his friend.  But why would it make Cas so angry if there wasn’t any truth to what Balthazar was saying.

Dean considers talking to Charlie. She’s smart and cautious, and she only takes calculated risks. But he has a feeling that he knows what she would say. There would be needling about how he needs to handle his big gay crisis before he tries to become a couple. How he needs to tell his mom and his brother. Charlie would have warnings about what Castiel has done to him in the past, especially when he tells her what he just heard. But Dean’s got to know, for once and for all, what makes Cas tick. The fact that Cas treats him so differently than everyone else has always gotten under his skin, and he’s got four weeks before the mystery is out of his life. And he needs to solve this case. Dean decides he won’t like Charlie’s opinion. She would probably want to beat Cas up, better to think of this on his own.

Three hours later, Dean’s decided to go down swinging. He leans on Baby’s hood and waits for Sammy, hoping he has the courage to roll these dice. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, clicks on messages, and reopens his chat with Cas. Here goes nothing.

**DEAN:**

**I don’t tempt you, but you’ve noticed my eyes?**

**CAS:**

**???**

**DEAN:**

**And you’ve noticed that my ass isn’t too bad?**

**CAS:**

**Dean. I’m busy. What are you talking about?**

**DEAN:**

**A little birdie overheard you talking about me with Balthazar today.**

Dean stared at the typing indicator and smiled. He couldn’t wait to see what Cas had to say when his memory clicked in and he connected Dean’s texts to his pissing match with Balthazar.

**CAS:**

**Dean, i apologize that was clearly said in Erie**

Dean giggled. Look at Mr. Uptight get so nervous that he sent a text with typos. This was fun. He definitely made the right choice.

**DEAN**

**And my freckles?**

**CAS:**

***error**

**DEAN**

**Sounds like u got the hots for me Cas**

Cas said nothing. No blinking dots. No typing. Cas must be at a loss for words. Dean grinned.

**DEAN:**

**Wow. Maybe ur not a junkless wonder …**

**CAS:**

**Focus, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**You know there have been times I was sure u were staring at me out of pure hate but…**

**CAS:**

**Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Maybe it was more than that. U sure ur not trying to have a, what did u call it, a flirtation with me???**

Sam walked to the car and tossed his bag in his seat. After a few minutes, he got tired of waiting for Dean to stop staring at his phone.

“Dean, what’s going on. Why aren’t we going home?”

“I’m waiting on a text reply, Sammy. Give me a minute.”

“Come on, Dean. I’m hungry. You can text at home.”

Dean continued to stare at his phone, and there still wasn’t a message from Cas, and no sign of typing either. But school was out and Cas wasn’t driving home. His car was at the opposite end of the lot and he wasn’t in it.

**DEAN:**

**Cas???**

**DEAN:**

**Nothing to say buddy?**

**CAS:**

**I suggest that we start with the syllabus and check through everything you have actually read. I hope very much that you haven’t been neglecting the readings as well, Dean.**

So Cas wanted to bury that question, huh? Not if Dean could help it.

**DEAN:**

**CAAAAAAaaaaaaaaasssssssssSSSSSS**

**CAS:**

**Because of your small window of time, I would like to have our first meeting tomorrow, at 4:15 immediately after the final class in the school library. Please do not be tardy.**

**DEAN:**

**Just gonna skip over the UST huh Cas?**

**CAS:**

**uronyl-2-sulfotransferase??? Protein coding, Dean? What does that have to do with British Literature?!? Can you PLEASE focus?**

“Dean, come on!”

“All right. All right. Quit whining. We’ll go. You wanna drive, you got your learners. Whaddya say?”

“You’re letting me drive? Drive Baby?”

“Yeah. Sure. Why not. I trust you.  You been going out on weekend drives with mom, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So okay then. Drive.”

Dean walked over to the passenger side door, nudged Sammy out of the way, and flopped into the buckets seats. He held out the keys as Sammy made his way around to the other side of the car, and tried to keep from pulling his phone out of his pocket. Sammy swiped the keys with a smile as he got behind the wheel. Dean kept his eyes peeled as they left the parking lot. Lord knows that most teenage drivers were total shit and accidents were less and less likely as they got away from the school lot.

“Ok. Steady on there, Sammy. Get us home.” When his brother was focused on the road, Dean pulled out his phone and did some googling. UST? He huffed a laugh. Jeez, Castiel Novak was a weirdo. A weirdo Dean couldn’t seem to stop thinking about, but a weirdo nonetheless.

**DEAN:**

**Hahahahahaha**

**DEAN:**

**I had 2 look that up**

**DEAN:**

**Don’t ever change man**

**CAS:**

**Ok.**

**DEAN:**

**How about I make u a deal?**

**CAS:**

**All right.**

**DEAN:**

**I show up tomorrow and u tell me y ur REALLY doing this**

**CAS:**

**There doesn’t have to be a reason. Some things just happen, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Not in my experience. No. People always have a reason Cas.**

**DEAN:**

**Does this have anything to do with what happened freshman year?**

**CAS:**

**I won’t talk about that Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Fine.**

**DEAN: I’ll be there. 4:15. But if u show up… Look, I wanna tell u that u have to be honest. What is really in this for you?**

**CAS:**

**I have already told you, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Yeah yeah**

**DEAN:**

**Fine. I’ll show up. Just don’t be an asshole about this all right? Don’t treat me like an idiot**

**CAS:**

**You’re very smart, Dean**

**DEAN:**

**What?**

**CAS:**

**Until Tomorrow, Dean.**

Dean tried to let it go with that. Castiel had wished him well and sent him on his way. But he had also refused to talk about freshman year. And he had complimented Dean, calling him smart. Dean thought of himself as someone who was good at putting puzzles together, someone good at fixing things. But Cas always managed to be that one person that Dean couldn’t puzzle out. All of his separate pieces never added up. So Dean just couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

Sammy finished driving home, and they studied and finished their homework. Then he drove to the grocery store and cooked dinner. He packed up their lunches so he wouldn’t have to rush with that in the morning. He set aside a dinner plate for his mom to heat up when she got home from her nursing shift at the hospital. He talked to Charlie and made plans for LARPing that weekend. And even though he didn’t mention Cas, he hadn’t forgotten about him. He never could. So he did the dishes. He washed a load of laundry, and he still couldn’t rest. Castiel was a case he had to get to the bottom of. He walked upstairs and grabbed the phone he put under his pillow. He sat on the bed, and hoped he wasn’t making another mistake.

**DEAN:**

**Cas?**

**DEAN:**

**U really wanna help me?**

**DEAN:**

**After everything?**


	2. Chapter 2

Dean waited for Cas to reply. For an hour he waited, flipping through Vonnegut and listening to music and hoping to hear his phone chime. But Cas never answered.

He tried going to sleep and pulling the cover over his head, but the soft green afghan reminded him of his father’s death. It reminded him that his mother knit the cover for him years ago to make him comfortable on nights when his dad’s death made him feel vulnerable and alone. But tonight, his mother’s choices had put him in one hell of a bind. Dean decided to get up and stay busy. Flipping on the light, he started cleaning his room, but that sent him to his desk and his pile of college pamphlets and that had him thinking about graduation and Cas again.

He knew his mom wanted the best for him and Sammy. She worked long, hard hours, helping docs put people back together again. And she worked crazy shifts, and holidays, and got as much overtime as she could manage. All to keep a roof over their head, food in their bellies, and money in the bank. She and Dean knew Sammy had big plans, and money was gonna be important for launching that kid into the world. His mom worked herself to the bone to help him and Sammy.

But, man, she’d blown his peace of mind to smithereens. No matter what he tried to do or tell himself, he couldn’t calm down. Ground control wasn’t reaching Major Tom. No amount of his mom’s meddling or pie was going to fix this. His anger kept growing like wild. Ever since dad died, he’d had trouble with impulse control and anger. He couldn’t get his damn ducks in a row. The last year and a half***, though, he’d done better. Less sex, fewer fights, and he never wanted a drink. He was basically your average American teenager. But tonight, he felt wild again.

**DEAN:**

**Mom, what the hell were you thinking? Asking Castiel Novak to help me?**

**MARY:**

**Dean!**

**MARY:**

**Watch your language with me!**

**DEAN:**

**Alright alright but how could u give my number to Castiel freaking Novak!**

**DEAN:**

**He’s like the biggest asshole who ever assholed**

**SAMMY:**

**1)Dean, that's not even a word**

**SAMMY:**

**2) I TOLD you to stop sending stuff through group chat!!!**

Dean knew Sammy needed his beauty rest. He knew he shouldn’t be texting his mom at work or spamming his brother’s phone this late at night, but the combined powers of his mom and Castiel were doing some Jedi-level work on his mind. He couldn’t tell up from down or right from wrong.   

**MARY:**

**Stop bickering with your brother Sam. What’s important about Castiel is that, unlike some young men I know, he has a perfect SAT score**

**SAMMY:**

**3) I think Castiel is a pretty nice guy. Shy maybe, but nice**

**MARY:**

**Mr. Singer told me he made 2400 last year! And he got acceptance letters from Harvard, John Hopkins, AND Stanford**

**DEAN:**

**OMFG mom!!! Who gives a flying flapjack!**

What the hell? His phone was insane. Why was it autocorrecting fuck into flapjack?! Had the world gone entirely upside down and ass backward?

**MARY:**

**Dean, you need his help.**

**SAMMY:**

**Hahahhahahahaha! <confetti poppers emoji 2> It worked!**

**DEAN:**

**Sammy!? Flapjack man!!! What the flapjack did you do to my phone?!**

**MARY:**

**If you’re going to keep that scholarship… this is important honey**

**DEAN:**

**Fine mom. I hear u. But I don’t have to like it**

**DEAN:**

**We’re meeting tomorrow after school**

**DEAN:**

**And Sammy u better fix my phone dude**

**MARY:**

**That’s great! You should take Sam with you!**

**DEAN:**

**What? Mom! Why?**

**MARY:**

**I’m sure he could be a great help to your brother. Sam’s got big plans too. He needs to make friends.**

**DEAN:**

**Make the right kind of friends u mean**

**DEAN:**

**He’s already got friends mom**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean. It’s fine. I kinda want to get to know the guy.**

**DEAN:**

**Jo? Ash?**

**DEAN:**

**Victor? Garth Kevin?**

**DEAN:**

**_Benny?_ **

**DEAN:**

**None of those count as friends?**

**SAMMY:**

**Well, Benny doesn’t.**

**MARY:**

**Yes, they count Dean. But they aren’t the only friends Sam could have**

**SAMMY:**

**Castiel is the Editor of The Budget and the yearbook.**

**DEAN:**

**Who gives a shit about the budget? That is the dumbest name for a school paper I ever heard. What? Is he a flapjacking tax accountant?!?**

**SAMMY:**

**Castiel didn’t name the paper Dean**

**DEAN:**

**Dude u GOTTA fix my flapjacking phone <angry emoji><crossbones emoji>**

**SAMMY:**

**You know? His mom went to Stanford. They’re like legacies. She’s the freaking Governor, Dean. Their family owns most of the county.**

**SAMMY:**

**It wouldn’t hurt Dean. That’s all I’m saying.**

**MARY:**

**Exactly right Sam! See Dean? Your brother knows what’s best**

**SAMMY:**

**Hey Dean**

**SAMMY:**

**I’ll fix your phone AFTER you take me to your study date ;)**

**DEAN:**

**Don’t call it a date Sammy**

**SAMMY:**

**Don’t call me Sammy**

**DEAN:**

**Mom you better bring home a whole pie. This has put a pie shaped hole in my heart. This sucks**

All day, he’s been anxious, thinking about what Sammy called his study date with Castiel. Cas still hasn’t answered his final texts from last night. Apparently, his lips are sealed when it comes to Freshman year, and in fifteen minutes they’ll be sitting close together leaning over a set of Sonnets and working on writing an essay for Singer. The after school study hall hours for the library are really time for semi-supervised dates and joking around with your friends. Basically, they’re mostly useless, the only place on campus you can hang around without a teacher actively keeping you on task. Sure, Ms. Talbot is there to sush the random idiot who thinks it’s all right not to hide that they’re totally off task, but every time he’s stayed later to wait for Sam to study, all he’s seen is groups of idiot friends, eating vending machine food and laughing over empty tables or couples necking in the stacks. Sammy’s usually the only person he’s seen studying. After hours of obsessing over the best plan of attack—or defense, whatever—Dean wants to get there early enough to snag a table far from the front windows, a table in the light, one that’s not tucked in a corner and one that’s a damn square. Cas ‘ll have his side, and Dean’ll have his. And no one will be teasing either one of them tomorrow because no one will know and he won’t be tempted by all his stupid pining to stare into Cas’s eyes or pull him into a dark corner and demand to know why Cas never talks to him but he always catches him looking. Why a couple times a year, Cas “almost accidentally” runs into him and he ends up dragging his warm hands down Dean’s shoulders and sometimes his back. And Dean half swears the guy is magic, because his whole side tingles for the entire day that happens, and daaaaaamn. He’s doing that thing again. He shakes his head trying to clear thoughts of Castiel Novak's lips and long fingered hands and blue eyes.

He rounds the corner, still shaking his head and hoping to physically dislodge thoughts of Castiel Novak, and nearly knocks the guy over. They bump together, both bodies colliding and Dean shivers because God is cruel. Full body contact. His chest and hips just rammed into Cas’s. As an accident. An accident that happened accidentally. And Cas is grinning madly, teeth and gums, and eyes crinkled. Clearly, he’s been waiting at the front doors of the library. His book bag and a pile of books from Mr. Singer’s class are on the ground near the double doors. He must of sprinted over here, cuz Dean knows he’s got phys-ed on the other side of the building last period. But here he is, his hair recently combed, laying more flat than it usually does, a soft blue button-up on, although Dean is sure he was wearing a t-shirt this morning.

“Dean, I’m glad you made it and are on time. That is a good sign that our studying will be a success. You are determined to pass.

Dean sees that Castiel is aimed at a table with a couple of his friends, and his eyes grow wide. Anna is there, too. And Balthazar,  and Gabriel, and Raphael, and Micheal. He is so not doing this. It’s time to pull a Houdini or at the very least fake a heart attack and pretend to die here.

He turns right and veers away, ducking behind a stack of books and walking as quickly as he can to the corner so that he can head back to the double doors and put this episode of This Can't Be My Life behind him.

“Dean? Dean! Where are you going?” Cas whispers urgently.

He pretends not to hear and only stops when Cas’s hand grabs his jacket and pulls him close.

“Dude, I am not sitting at that table. Last time I checked I wasn't added to your friends and family plan.” He wants to see what Cas’s face looks like when he admits this, but he’s got his arms crossed and his back to Cas and he can’t bring himself to turn around. Not now. Not after what happened.

“Dean,” Cas says softly with what sounds like a sadness.

But Dean still won’t turn around, and when Cas puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder, maybe to soothe, maybe to turn him around, he shakes off the the grip, but like always, Cas’s wide palms and long fingers seem to leave a mark.   

“Where would you like to sit, Dean?”

“In the back. Alone. I want to study Cas. Not socialize. You don’t need to come with me. If you want, you can just drop off Singer’s stuff with me, and I’ll make my way through it on my own.”

“Go find a place Dean. I’ll tell them we won’t be joining them.”

Dean nods and has his eyes set in the table he normally sits at to wait for Sam to stop bearding out. He throws his bag down and heads up front to say hey to Ms. Talbot. Even though rumors persists that they had a thing, he really appreciates all the Kleenex and free hugs she used to give him after his dad died. She's weird, but nice. And that's more than he can say for  most of the people at Lawrence high.

He's walking two stack aisles away from Cas’s friends table when he hears, “Did you see his clothes? His pants were covered in grease stains.”

He glances down and sees that Raphael is right. He got dirty at the shop this morning, trying to squeeze in some work before school. Every minute counted, because every minute was money. And money mattered at the Winchester house.

“He was dirty down to his boots. They were filthy.” Michael adds.

“Clearly, Cas likes his playthings a little dirty,” Balthazar says. Dean can't see him but he can tell the guy said it with a wink and a leer.

“I saw them,” Cas says dryky. “I thought his jeans looked very fine on him, and they certainly reflect how hard he works to earn money for his family. Each stain—as you call them—reflects how hard he works. You could learn something from Dean, Zar.”

Zar laughed and Dean scrambled away. He'd say hey to Talbot later. Now was time for strategic retrenching. He'd get back to his desk and focus on the studying. Get through this study date—not a study date! And do his best to graduate and put his obsession with Castiel Novak.

An hour later, he was afraid that boredom and not raging teenage lust was going to kill him. Sure, it was hard at first to concentrate with Cas breathing in his face and sitting close. Cas brought their chairs side by side and sat so close to Dean they might as well have been sharing a love seat. Dean thought his heart would give out. That, or his dick would announce his inappropriate feelings for the high school hero. It only got worse when Cas touched their knees together and didn't move away. Thank God for sonnets, cuz those were a boner killer.

“'When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries',” Dean huffed. “Why doesn’t the guy have boots, man?”

“Keep reading, Dean,” Cas said with a smile.

“'In these thoughts myself almost despising', Don’t get me wrong, Cas. I agree with the dude. All except for the boot thing—you gotta have your boots.”

“You agree with what, Dean?”

“Well, it’s not wrong to know that the people you love are better than wealth. Money makes life easier, but it doesn’t matter most.

"And why do you say this speaker values love more than wealth?"

Dean read in sing-song voice, “'For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.” With a wink Dean continued, “ You don’t gotta read all of a Shakespeare’ sonnets. It’s all right there in the last two lines. A little blurb that works like a Marvel trailer, dude.”

“A marvel trailer?” Cas asked, curious, smiling, seeming to have a good time.

“Yeah, all Marvel trailers give up the whole plot of the movie—the good jokes too. Shakespeare does the same in his sonnets in the last couple of lines.”

“Couplets.”

“What?”

“Couplets. The last couple of lines are called couplets, Dean.”

“I know Cas, but who cares?”

“Dr. Singer cares quite a bit,” Cas said with a large smile, his nose wrinkled and his gums showing. “You should use the word couplets in your essay, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes with a laugh. This was friendly. This was good.

And that’s how the week went by. Dean and Cas kept meeting in the library, and Cas’s friends kept saying smart-ass shit, but Dean didn’t let it bother him. Cas smiled at everything he said, as though Dean were something special. Every answer he gave, Cas awed over it. Whenever he made a joke, Cas smiled a warm gummy smile. Dean swears there were moments when his eyes actually sparkled. Every morning Dean woke up excited to get through the school day and spend the afternoon in the dusty library basking in Cas’s presence. It was hella gay, but Dean wasn’t worried. Might as well nurse a little harmless crush. Cas would be out of his life in a few weeks, and he could have a little fun, stare a whole lot, and store up memories for his spank bank to get him through the long cold winters of young adulthood. Actually, he was kind of disappointed that the week was over. Normally, he’d be so psyched to reach the weekend, but Friday afternoon meant that he wouldn’t get time alone with Cas for three more days. He pushed farther back to rest under the awning of the school and laughed at himself. He was thinking sad thoughts and the sky was opening up. It was like he was starring in some pathetic rom-com.

Dean pulled out his phone and stared over this last texts with Cas. Thumbing over the screen and smiling, Dean wondered if he should just ask Cas to hang out this weekend? It couldn't hurt, could it? If he asked for an extra study session, that would be ok, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**DEAN:**

**Hey mom. Study time is OVER. U on ur way to pick us up?**

**_~10 minutes later~_ **

 

**DEAN:**

**Mom???**

**DEAN:**

**Where are you?**

**DEAN:**

**I knew something was up when u wouldn’t let me take the impala this morning…**

**DEAN:**

**Sammy and I are stuck here in the rain u know**

**DEAN:**

**It’s like pouring buckets mom**

 

**_~10 minutes later~_ **

 

**DEAN:**

**Come on mom. Ur starting to worry me alright? U ok?**

**DEAN:**

**PS ur youngest son is looking like a drenched moose out here**

**DEAN:**

**Seriously he’s soaked to the bone**

 

**_~3 minutes later~_ **

 

**SAMMY:**

**It’s fine mom. Castiel offered to give us a ride home with him and his brother Gabe. We’re ok**

**MARY:**

**< heart eyes emoji>**

**DEAN:**

**I knew it**

**MARY:**

** <shades emoji>love u boys. Be safe.**

**DEAN:**

**Wait. You’ve got my set of keys. I don’t even a key to the house mom**

**DEAN:**

**So not cool**

**MARY:**

**< frightened squishy face emoji> that’s right. And I have back to back shifts at the hospital tonight. Think u guys can stay over with the Novaks?**

**DEAN:**

**New low mom. New low**

**MARY:**

**< halo emoji>**

Dean scoped out the house and tried to keep his mouth from dropping open. When they pulled up to Cas’s long drive way he almost asked the guy if he'd taken them to the country club instead. How was this a house? A community could get in here. How'd the mom even talk to her kids? How'd she announce dinner? A cellphone?

Cas walked into the foyer and tossed his keys on a table that was pure oak and probably thousands of dollars. Dean winced and hoped the guy didn't scratch the varnish. He kicked his shoes off into a nearby closet.

“You're welcome to keep your shoes on, but it's easier on the staff if I don't track in dirt.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Dean said, kicking off his shoes.  What a weird guy Cas was. What rich guy cares about the maid getting too much work? Dean was never gonna know which way was up with this guy, was he?

“Can I get you something to eat, Dean? Or something to drink?”

“Um, sure, I could eat.” Truth was he was starving. He'd been too excited by the idea of studying with Cas to focus on school lunch. “You want something Sammy?” Dean asked, turning to his brother, only to find he was missing.

Cas smiled warmly, seeming to notice Dean’s distraction and finding something sweet in it. “Your brother and Gabe went to play video games.” Cas looked down and fidgeted with the arms of his trench coat. “I’m glad to see the two of them get along.”

“Are you?” Dean asked unsure how Cas had gone from teenage tyrant four years ago to hippie let’s-all-get-along today.

“Yes, Dean.” Cas met Dean’s eyes with an earnest stare. “I think your brother would be a great influence on Gabe. You've done a lot for Sam and it's clear how much he respects you.”

“It's clear…” Dean half-asked and half-said, hoping that repeating the words would help them make sense.

“Yes, Sam respects your hard work and your guidance. That's certainly why he is such a model student.”

“He's a nerd, but we love him.” Dean shrugged and rubbed his neck. He wished Cas would lighten up. Cas was staring at him, eyes nearly unblinking. And it was making him nervous.

“Yes, he’s very smart. Does he have academic plans after graduation?” Cas asked gesturing them toward the back of the house.

“Sammy has his heart set in Stanford.”

“That's wonderful, Dean. It's a great school. Many of my family have gone there.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean mumbled walking into the kitchen. “Holy crap,” Dean said when he saw all the food and appliances. Man, he would love a kitchen like this.

“You cook, right, Dean?”

“Huh?”

Cas grinned and dragged Dean over to the refrigerator. “You won Lawrence’s pie baking contest in the Spring Festival two years in a row.”

“What?” Dean said, feeling confused.

“You won best pie, in sophomore year and Junior year. One year for caramel apple. One year for cherry.”

“Huh?”

“That's an amazing feat.”

“It was the teenage boy division. Not that big of a deal, Cas.”

“You are far too humble, Dean. Those pies were wonderful.” Cas smiled and his eyes went vacant.

Was he suggested he’d tried some? You baked two versions of the same pie for the competition. One for the judges and one for poor schmuck who wanted to spend $50 on a pie for charity. There’s no way Cas bought and ate Dean’s pie two years running, right?

“I have to admit, unlike you, the extent of my cooking skills is scrambled eggs and toast.”

“Okay…” Dean muttered, wondering if Cas was hinting that Dean should make something for them to eat.

“But, I can also make a sandwich. Would you like one?” Cas asked, his stoic bad-ass self dissolving into 100% excited puppy.

Who got so thrilled about making a sandwich?

“Uh. Sure,” Dean said, growing frustrated that he couldn't do better than respond like a trained monkey. His four-year crush was smiling at him, laying on compliments, inviting him home and offering to make him a meal, and all he could manage to say was a chorus of huh and what and uh and sure?

“So you’ve got eggs, toast, and sandwiches in your repertoire, huh? That’s not too shabby.”

Cas laughed. “It’s not first prize in a pastry competition.”

“Nope, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. The champion of pastry started out with toast and eggs, too. Now I got roast, ribs, burgers, cakes, casseroles. You name it.”

“How did you become so adept at cooking, Dean?”

“Mom and Dad were busy.” Dean shrugged “Dad was running his own business. Mom’s a nurse. Weird hours. A lot of the time, it was me and Sammy at home.” He rubbed at the back of neck, where goosebumps had popped up when Cas wouldn’t quit staring at him like that. “I mean, sure, I burnt my fair share. More than my fair share. Man, let me tell you, burnt *** is the worst. But I eventually got pretty good.”

“You smart. You can cook. You helped raise your brother. You work at a job. Even faced with failing English you smile, keep working at it. How do you do it, Dean?”

“Easy, man. I just decided to take the words give up out of my vocabulary. I’m pretty sure if I keep fighting, I’ll do alright.”

“You’re amazing, Dean Winchester. You never cease to surprise me.”

He almost muttered _you, too_ , but he didn’t want to ask fate for more surprises. Really, this day couldn't get any weirder. Could it?  


**_~2 hours later~_ **

**DEAN:**

**Charlie! Help!**

**CHARLIE:**

**Dean? What’s wrong???**

**DEAN:**

**I don’t know how I got here**

**CHARLIE:**

**???**

**CHARLIE:**

**You’re scaring me**

**DEAN:**

**I’m hiding in Castiel Novak’s bathroom**

**CHARLIE:**

**Dean? What are u doing?**

**DEAN:**

**Cas tutored me today**

**CHARLIE:**

**What?! I'd heard rumors that you and Cas were hanging out a lot**

**CHARLIE:**

**But I didn't think it could be true**

**CHARLIE:**

**Because you would DEFINITELY have told me about that, right?!?!**

**DEAN:**

**I didn't want to make a big deal about it**

**DEAN:**

**And I knew you would. Freaking Queen of punctuation**

**DEAN:**

**Cas said he would tutor me in Lit since I’m fucking failing Singers class**

**CHARLIE:**

**Ok? How did u end up in the guy’s bathroom??????**

**DEAN:**

**My moms like matchmaking or something**

**DEAN:**

**Anyway**

**DEAN:**

**Shit happened**

**DEAN:**

**And now Sammy and me are spending the night at Castiel freaking Novaks house!!!!!!**

**CHARLIE:**

**OMG**

**DEAN:**

**Yeah and u would think these rich assholes would have extra rooms but apparently I’m spending the night in Cas’s room**

**CHARLIE:**

**Castiel Novak**

**CHARLIE:**

**The first-man-you-ever-loved Novak**

**DEAN:**

**I did NOT love the guy. Fuck Charlie**

**DEAN:**

**I’m losing my mind here**

**CHARLIE:**

**I quote, “Holy, shit. I think I just went gay.”**

**DEAN:**

**So i thought he was cute. Didn’t mean I loved the idiot**

**CHARLIE:**

**So you didn’t follow him around freshman year?**

**DEAN:**

**He’s hot. U totally can’t blame a guy for getting a chubby around the fucker**

**CHARLIE:**

**And you didn’t shed beautiful man tears about that thing which we-shall-not-name?**

**DEAN:**

**It wasn't that big of a deal Charlie**

**CHARLIE:**

**You spend the next year avoiding that bathroom and even that part of the freshman hall made u nervous**

**CHARLIE:**

**But it wasn’t a big deal**

**CHARLIE:**

**I mean, as a lady who loves ladies maybe I’m missing something here…**

**CHARLIE:**

**But if u don’t LUB him Y r u losing ur mind over a single slumber party?**

**DEAN:**

**Not my fault. Cas is objectively, scientifically beautiful.**

**DEAN:**

**I’m telling you the fuckin Pope would feel things. I swear. His voice is unholy.**

**DEAN:**

**I just spent two hours with the guy basically whispering sonnets into my ear.**

**DEAN:**

**At one point he said, “ur so bright dean.” And I swear, his eyes sparkled**

**DEAN:**

**He’s confusing the hell of me**

**DEAN:**

**And now I gotta sleep next to him?**

**DEAN:**

**Even if I sleep on the floor I’ll be two feet from Cas**

**DEAN:**

**What am I gonna do????**

**DEAN:**

**What if he wants to share a bed???!?!?!?**

**CHARLIE:**

**It’s a love story, baby, just say yes**

**DEAN:**

**Do NOT quote Taylor Swift lyrics at me! I need actual help**

**CHARLIE:**

**Just cuz you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon, doesn’t mean we all have**

**DEAN:**

**Don’t quote hermione to me either!!!!**

**CHARLIE:**

**Dean. It’s gonna be ok. Maybe he really IS the guy we thought he was 3 years ago**

**DEAN:**

**Oh god. By Monday the whole school’s gonna know I’m a cuddler**

**DEAN:**

**He’s knocking on the door!**

**DEAN:**

**Charlie!!!!?!??**

**DEAN:**

**He just said “r u ready for bed dean?” Charlie?!?!?!?**


	4. Chapter 4

**CAS:**

**Hello, Dean.**

**CAS:**

**Friday was very enjoyable.**

**CAS:**

**Can we do it again soon?**

**CAS:**

**Did you find the tutoring session helpful?**

**CAS:**

**You haven’t texted me since Friday? Did you still want to do tutoring today after school?**

**CAS:**

**Did you dislike spending the evening at my home?**

**CAS:**

**Dean?**

**DEAN:**

**Chill Cas. It’s fine. Alright?**

**CAS:**

**You just seemed very upset Saturday morning, and you haven’t texted, so I worried.**

Briefly, Dean considers being honest. Saturday morning was like waking  up in an alternate universe, one where the guy you pined for crushed on you right back. What dude gives another dude his underwear to wear? Dean almost rejected the offer and insisted on going commando, but come on…he wanted to see the guy’s boxer briefs. And it was kinda hot wearing them. And it was possible, if the gleam in Cas's eyes was not his imagination, that Cas thought so too. But the briefs gave him a freaking metaphorical chaffe the next morning, and he’d been sure Cas could see right through him. Part of him had wanted to open up and tell Cas about his secret man-crush, but he knew that level of pining was ridiculous-- _is_ ridiculous.

They’re teenagers. They’re about to graduate. Even if they didn’t have all that baggage from the incident-that-shall-not-be-named from Freshman year, who really dreams of a happily-ever-after with a highschool sweetheart?

So he woke up cuddled with Cas? So Cas wrapped his arms around Dean in their sleep and seemed happy to wake up that way? What does it matter?

It’s stupid to have thoughts about getting to know Cas, of being something more after they graduate. Especially after factoring in their history and the differences between them. It’s pathetic.

He wants to tell Cas that Saturday morning was awkward because the whole time he was getting dressed and eating cereal and waiting for his mom, he was staring at Cas. He wants to say he was tempted to pull Cas in and kiss him, but he can’t. Even after the snuggle fest on Friday night, Dean can’t say it.

**DEAN:**

**I don't usually wake up with another dude’s junk near my ass man.**

**DEAN:**

**It was weird.**

**DEAN:**

**I’m over it.**

**CAS:**

**All right, Dean.**

Dean sighs with relief. He’s full of crap. But Cas seems convinced. Friday night, Cas had made him dinner--a sandwich, sure, but dinner all the same, and he’d made sure that Sammy was comfortable and tucked into a guest bedroom. He’d given Dean a pair of his pajamas and had talked to Dean in whispers about their favorite music for a full hour before bed. They’d stayed away from the stuff that really matters: family, the future, Freshman year, but it was cozy. And it definitely wasn’t weird waking up cuddled next to Cas. It was freaking awesome. It was warm and safe and sexy. But it’s true that Dean’s not used to waking up that way. He’s never woken up like that, in the arms of someone he loves--likes, whatever. He’s had a lot of sex. His Freshman year of school was a revolving door of partners, but he never spent the night. He’d never wanted to. But Cas doesn’t need to know that.

**CAS:**

**Well, it’s Monday. So, we should probably meet to study today if you’re sure that you’re fine. :)**

**CAS:**

**Would you like to study in the library today or at my house?**

**CAS:**

**I could make a snack? Or dinner…?**

**CAS:**

**Do you like burgers, Dean?**

**CAS:**

**I googled how to make them this weekend.**

**I am pretty sure I can manage that for you.**

**DEAN:**

**U sure this is Castiel Novak?**

**CAS:**

**Yes, it’s me, Dean. Why do you ask?**

**DEAN:**

**You wanna make me dinner?**

**DEAN:**

**Did you bump your head?**

**CAS:**

**No, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Get kidnapped by aliens?**

**CAS:**

**No, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Have your soul swapped out? Get possessed?**

**CAS:**

**No, Dean. This has nothing to do with a brain injury**

**or aliens or demons or anything at all supernatural.**

Dean smiles, and his shoulders shake with laughter. Trust Cas to respond so literally. But Dean has to ask because he can’t just roll with the punches on this one. Cas could hurt him for real this time. A punch to the face can be passed by. Dean’s tough. But he protects his heart. He knows first-hand what it feels like to lose someone you love. He doesn’t know if his heart’s big enough to care about more than the people already there: his mom, his brother, Charlie. And Cas isn’t a safe bet. Giggling over his text messages is a one-way-ticket to disaster. Dean knows that, but he can’t help it. Cas’s texting indicator is blinking. Cas is saying something, and he needs to know.

**CAS:**

**Dean, I am sorry. We haven’t talked about it in the last week, but I am sorry.**

**CAS:**

**About before, about everything.**

**CAS:**

**I don’t always make the right decisions when it comes to people…**

**CAS:**

**Making friends, choosing who to trust…**

**CAS:**

**“Challenging” doesn’t seem to scratch the surface.**

**DEAN:**

**What r u apologizing for?**

**DEAN:**

**For ignoring me the last 3 years?**

**DEAN:**

**Or for what happened with Anna?**

**CAS:**

**I’m trying to be better, Dean. I am.**

**DEAN:**

**You do kind of suck at the whole friend thing. And the apology thing.**

**DEAN:**

**Gotta say, maybe u should take ur own advice. Get a tutor**

**DEAN:**

**A friendship tutor**

**DEAN:**

**Maybe you should practice**

Dean is still upset about what happened Freshman year. Never-ending crush aside, he’s bitter about it. Hell, maybe he’s bitter because, even with what happened, he never stopped wanting Cas, not really. Dean wants to type, _Maybe you should try not being a judgemental asshole_ , but before he can, Cas says

**CAS:**

**Would you be willing to help me, Dean?**

**DEAN:**

**Don’t know if I’m the right guy, Cas**

**DEAN:**

**Especially after what happened**

**CAS:**

**Could we have lunch together, Dean, in the cafeteria? We both have B lunch. We could sit together. Would you be willing to do that, Dean?**

Dean knows he’s probably going to regret this. He should tell Cas no, tell him he’s willing to see him after school for tutoring but beyond that--no way. Instead, he writes:

**DEAN:**

**Yeah**

An hour later and they’re sitting at a table next to the one where Cas normally sits. His friends keep staring and giving Cas tons of questioning or annoyed side eye, but Cas doesn’t seem to notice. In fact, Dean realizes that Cas also doesn’t seem to notice that this move to a new table has displaced a whole group of band nerds that normally sit there. One of those nerds is Sam’s friend Kevin. Kevin looks lost and confused. There are unspoken rules --sit with your own kind, don’t intermingle with cliques outside your own, sit where you sit at the end of the first day and don’t move--basically, you need to color inside the lines. Cas has just ignored all of this. Dean knows it isn’t because he thinks he’s above all the little people. He doesn’t think he’s better than the band folks. He’s seen Cas stop bullying before, but Cas is sometimes so separate from this world maybe he just doesn’t get it. Dean shakes his head. He doesn’t understand Cas, but he doesn’t need to. Not really, in 6 weeks, he’ll never see the guy again.

Dean pokes at his tater tots nervously and tries to think of something to say. Cas doesn’t seem to notice the silence. When they sat down, he arranged his silverware and napkins like he was seated at a five-star restaurant. Then he assembled his burger and hasn’t said a word since he first dug in. Apparently the guy has a thing for burgers because he’s smiling as he eats, and these burgers suck.

“U arn humphy, nean?” Cas mumbles around a mouth full of food.

“What?” Dean asks, wrinkling his brows.

Cas swallows and says again, “You aren’t hungry, Dean?”

“Not really. Guess I’m a little unsure why you wanted to meet for lunch. Plus, people are staring, dude.”

Cas puts down his burger and puts his hands in his lap, suddenly serious. “I’ve been thinking a lot about, well, everything, really. What you say about me, about my failings. They’re true, Dean. I didn’t notice we were getting stared at. I don’t tend to notice anything about people unless I’m tasked with it. I guess I’m selfish or spoiled.” He shrugged but regret marked his features.

“What are you talking about, man? I’ve seen you. You help people. You volunteer at soup kitchens. Hell, my my friends Jesse told me you pulled a football player off of his boyfriend a few months ago when he was being bullied.”

“I help at soup kitchens because volunteer hours are seen as preferable for college applicants, Dean. And I stop bullying when I see it because I am student body president. What kind of president would I be if I allowed bullying or other types of rule breaking? I don’t mean to say that I wasn’t happy to help someone in need or that I don’t enjoy my time spent working at the Charity House. I love it. The conversations I have with people each weekend, they’re--” He shrugs again and shakes his head. “Would you be willing to help me, Dean?”

“Help you with what, Cas?”

“Be more human I guess, more normal. I want to be more like the people you choose to spend your time with, Dean.”

“Don’t know if I’m the right guy, Cas.

Cas’s lips tighten, and he looks down. Dean doesn’t want to hurt Cas, and he’s spent years waiting for Cas to take an interest in him, but needs to be careful.

“Especially after what happened”

Cas’s shoulders scrunch up. He’s clearly stressed. Maybe he even feels guilty, but Dean has to add, “Might still have actual scars.”

“I’m trying to make it up to you, Dean. I would do better if I knew how.” Cas’s finally makes eye contact with Dean and his gaze is so sincere, so desperate. _Why now?_ He wants to ask. Why is Cas doing this now with only weeks left before they graduate?

“So four years ago I was the worst thing to crawl out of the sewer,” Dean snaps. “I wasn’t good enough for your family, right?” He wants to yell, but he also doesn’t want everyone to hear. Dean leans toward Cas so that he won’t miss a word. “What’s changed?” he hisses in a whisper.

Cas shakes his head. “You’re good enough for me, Dean. You always were.”

“What exactly did you call me?” Dean looks up, pretending like he’s forgotten, pretending like the words don’t still haunt him. “Oh yeah!” He snaps his fingers and smiles darkly. “A devious, pretty pretender.”

“I apologize, Dean.”

Dean doesn’t look at Cas’s face. He can’t. He’s sure it’s a mask of regret and pain and sincerity. But it’s too late for that now. “Yeah, I remember. You said that I was the kind of trash that your family would, and I quote, “destroy if need be.”

Cas shakes his head again. He whispers, “That you remember what I said, I--” He rubs his palms over his face.

It’s a strange gesture coming from him. Dean isn’t used to seeing an emotional Castiel Novak. He’s pretty sure the guy’s face is next to the dictionary definition of the word stoic. But today, his feelings are being telegraphed. If he’s not careful, everyone is going to be talking about them for weeks.

“Forget it, Cas, it’s ancient history.” Dean’s looking around the room. And sure enough they’ve drawn some stares. People are whispering around them, and Castiel’s normal cast of friends are straining their necks trying to hear what’s being said.

“Dean,” Cas says, sounding desperate.

“Seriously, people are staring man. Chill. Eat your burger.”

“Dean, please, look at me.”

When Dean finally turns his head, he can see that Cas is back to being Castiel. His face is calm and serious. His body relaxed. To be honest, it shocks Dean, makes him unsure what Cas is feeling--or if he was every really feeling anything at all. Maybe Dean just imagined the last few minutes. He never should have agreed to this.

“I regret so much that’s happened, Dean.”

"I don’t think you are sorry. Not really. You’re playing at it. Somehow, you’ve got it in your head that I’m your mission. That I need your help. I’m not sure if this because you’re senior class president and you want to make sure everybody graduates or if it’s misplaced guilt because you broke some serious rules when that thing went down between us Freshman year, but I don’t give a shit, Cas."

“Dean! It’s not--”

“It doesn’t matter, Cas! I just need your help to graduate. If you’re feeling all torn up about it, maybe you should try to remember that you’re just slumming it with the mechanic’s son?” Dean huffs a laugh. “Skirt chaser? Right?”

“I didn’t mean any of what I said to Zar, Dean. With my family it’s difficult. They’ve taught me a certain way to be. Not all of it’s wrong…” Cas looks down again, unable to keep eye contact. “I just…” He raises his eyes and they’re red. His control is slipping. “I am so sorry, Dean.”

“Forget it,” Dean says, shrugging his shoulders and rubbing at the back of his neck. Talking with Castiel is like riding a roller coaster. The loops are making him dizzy. He’s nervous and he feels guilty. What if Cas really is try to make amends. He’s making the guy toss around in broken glass. It’s not fair. Cas is willing to help him graduate, and he’s been nothing but nice the entire time. Dean’s still sore from what happend Freshman year, but it’s not Cas’s fault that Dean is torn between love and hate with this guy. Cas is trying his best. And, to be honest, Dean was kind of a mess Freshman year. He made mistakes, too. It’s not right to make Cas carry the blame all on his own.

“It’s done,” he finally says. “Probably had it coming.”

Cas wrinkled his forehead, confused.

“Besides, you weren’t all wrong. I do chase a lot of tail. Catch most of it too.” Dean shoves three tots in his mouth and goes on, adding, “I drink too much. Drive like a maniac. I Fuck up in school. Probably stay in Lawrence my whole life.”

Cas’s frown deepens and his brow furrows. Dean’s pretty sure he couldn’t make out what Dean said around the tots, but then Cas shakes his head. He grabs Dean’s wrist and says, “No, that's not true. For a while now, that hasn’t been true at all, Dean.”

Dean holds his breath. The look on Cas’s face… there aren’t words for it. “You’re a good person. You work several jobs to help your mother care for your family. You are loyal to your friends. Your scores in mathematics are almost the highest in our year.”

Dean tries to laugh, tries to break the tension. Cas has clearly been making a list of his positive attributes. “Anyway…” he mumbles. “Putting aside your stalking… do you still want to be my tutor?”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem, Cas.”

“Did you want to study in the library, Dean? Or could we meet at my home? I really would like to try making burgers for you.”

Before Dean can answer, his phone buzzes with a text message. Cas’s buzzes, too. They both look down and see it.

On their screens is a photo of them sleeping together, their legs tangled together. Dean is snuggled close, his chin resting on Cas's shoulder, his arm draped over Cas's chest. They're asleep, and at peace, and clearly comfortable being in each other's arms. They aren't naked, and it isn't sexual. But it's intimate. And somehow, while they slept someone took a photo.

And now there's a shared message between Cas, himself, and this asshole. His phone buzzes again and Dean's whole body goes tense.

**UNKNOWN:**

**What would Naomi Novak say about this?**

**DEAN:**

**Who the fuck is this?**

**DEAN:**

**What is my life these days?**

**DEAN:**

**Who is giving out my number to a bunch of creeps?**

**CAS:**

**Gabriel?!**

**CAS:**

**WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?**

**GABRIEL:**

**You’re no fun at all Cassie!**

Dean rubs his hands madly through his hair. This is fucking unbelievable. “Cas, your family is a bag full of dicks. Who the fuck takes photos of people sleeping?”

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“For what? You didn’t do it.” Dean sighs and tries to calm down. “Your brother is a jerk. And a weirdo. But at least it was him. I was worried. I guess he’s just teasing us with that whole ‘what would Naomi Novak say’ thing.”

“Shit!”

**CAS:**

**Gabriel, do NOT send this photo to mother.**

**GABRIEL:**

**Don’t worry bro. Wouldn’t dream of it.**

**GABRIEL:**

**Wouldn't want to kill young love before it blossoms**

**GABRIEL:**

**I have, however, sent it out to roughly 50 of my closest friends.**

"Cas, man, he can't really mean that. Can he?" Dean asks, his throat tight with fear. Rubbing his open palm across his lips, he mumbles again, "He didn't really do that, did he Cas?"

**CAS:**

**Please, tell me you aren’t serious.**

**GABRIEL:**

**You got me. It might have been more like 100?**

"Fuck! I can't believe this! Cas, 100 people? 100 people saw us. Like that. Like we--oh god. They can share it with whoever the hell they want. Right?"

**DEAN:**

**Gabe, next time I see you dude…**

**CAS:**

**Why, Gabriel?**

**CAS:**

**I told you.**

**CAS:**

**This is important to me.**

**GABRIEL:**

**Hence my immortalizing your epic romance through photography**

**GABRIEL:**

**I call this piece “Star-crossed Lovers”**

**DEAN:**

**We aren’t lovers asshole!**

**GABRIEL:**

**It’s got charm.**

**GABRIEL:**

**You gotta admit that, right?**

**CAS:**

**I trusted you, Gabriel.**

Dean ran his hands angrily through his hair, and gave a rough, angry laugh. “Yeah, Cas. We talked about this. You SUCK at the whole trust-and-friendship thing,” Dean said.

**CAS:**

**Gabriel, when did you send out the photo?**

**GABRIEL:**

**About 7 am**

**GABRIEL:**

**Right after you lovebirds came out of your room, i.e. Casa Erotica**

**GABRIEL:**

**Maybe I should send THAT photo out next**

**GABRIEL:**

**You two in your boxers**

**GABRIEL:**

**Hair rumpled**

**GABRIEL:**

**Barely able to look at each other**

**GABRIEL:**

**Really, you can tell me…**

**GABRIEL:**

**Any action?**

**DEAN:**

**Fuck off Gabe!**

**CAS:**

**Gabriel. Calm down and focus.**

**CAS:**

**I need you to do some fucking damage control!**

**GABRIEL:**

**Whoa! Cassie is angry!**

**GABRIEL:**

**Pulling out the big boy words today I see.**

**CAS:**

**Damn it, Gabriel.**

**CAS:**

**You made this mess, and you ARE going to clean it up.**

**CAS:**

**Text them back.**

**CAS:**

**All of them**

**CAS:**

**Tell them it was a joke.**

**CAS:**

**A prank you cooked up in photoshop.**

**GABRIEL:**

**Doesn’t really sound like something I would do.**

**CAS:**

**Yes it does!**

**CAS:**

**You are the King of idiotic pranks!**

**GABRIEL:**

**No, I mean I don’t really admit to them being pranks.**

**GABRIEL:**

**Kinda defeats the whole purpose, bromeister**

**CAS:**

**Gabriel!**

**CAS:**

**I mean it!**

**GABRIEL:**

**Look, if I yell foul now it’s just going to backfire**

**GABRIEL:**

**Better let it rest, Cassie**

**GABRIEL:**

**What’s the harm anyways?**

“The harm? Can you believe this guy?” Dean asks.

Cas shakes his head, upset. Cas tries to comfort Dean, placing an arm on his shoulder. When Dean shrugs away, Cas starts angrily typing in the text box.

**CAS:**

**Dean is a private person Gabriel.**

**CAS:**

**He only shares himself with close friends.**

**CAS:**

**You’ve shared a picture of him sleeping with dozens of strangers!!!!**

**GABRIEL:**

**In the pic, he was just sleeping with you ;)**

"Cas, what are we gonna do? We are like full on cuddling, man" Dean scrolls up and stares at the photo again. "Seriously, what did I ever do to you people? Does your family get off on fucking with me?"

“I didn’t want this to happen, Dean. Please believe me.”

“Whatever, Cas. Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. Doesn’t matter. Every time I get within an inch of your family, I get burned."

Cas shakes his head, opens his mouth to speak, but their phones buzz.

**GABRIEL:**

W **hat are you worried about?**

**GABRIEL:**

**You guys have this dark twisted love thing going on**

**GABRIEL:**

**I’m definitely not the only one who sees it**

**GABRIEL:**

**Time to resolve some shit**

**GABRIEL:**

**Bring in into the light**

**GABRIEL:**

**Thus, the photo ;)**

“Dean, I keep saying this, but I am so sorry.”

 “Stop saying sorry, Cas. Seriously.”

 “Did you want to stop studying with me? Perhaps you’re right. My family seems to bring you trouble.”

 Cas’s face is expresses regret and sincerity. Dean’s stomach twists at the idea of not talking to Cas again. Cas’s family is giant pain in his ass, and that this whole tutoring adventure has the potential to blow up in Dean’s face, but he can’t let it go. Besides, there’s only a few weeks left. How much damage can really be done. “Naw, Cas. You promised to help me graduate. You gonna leave me with no help?”

 “No, Dean. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

 “Well, then, let’s keep going. Today’s Chaucer, right?”

 “Yes, Chaucer.”

 “Gross.”

The bell rings and Dean picks up his uneaten tray and follows Cas to the trash.

“Shall we meet in the library at four?”

“Let’s go to your house, man. If you don’t mind. I think the less we’re seen together at school the better we’ll be.”

Cas nods his head. “You might be right, Dean.”

“Oh wait! Shit, is your mom gonna be around? Maybe we should rethink this?”

“No, this week she’s out of town. She is rarely around, Dean.”

“Ok, then. If you say so.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“No, my mom didn’t need the car today, so I’ll give Sammy a ride home and then head over.”

Cas smiles that huge eye-wrinkling smile he gave Dean time and time again last week. And Dean’s knees go weak, again, like they always do.

“So I can make you burgers?”

“Not on your life, dude. I can’t get food poisoning at this point in the semester.”

Cas’s smile dims a little, but it never goes away. “All right, Dean. Shall I order pizza then?”

“You are a good guy, Cas. Bring on the pizza and the Chaucer!”

This week passes like the last. Each morning, Dean gets up thrilled to see Cas. And now he gets to see Cas in the privacy of Cas’s home. No stares. No rude comments by his friends. No listening ot Balthazar laugh and tease. In fact, Cas must have said something to his friends because they’re smiling at him in the hallway. Some of them even say hello. The smiles aren’t very warm and there’s one douche named Uriel that goes the other direction when he sees Dean coming, but Cas’s friends don’t stare and they don’t whisper. They leave him alone. And some of the furor has died down. There’s gossip everywhere in the school, but Dean and Cas are only a small part, and by the end of the week they are mostly old news. By Friday, Dean’s feeling pretty damn good. He’s still got one more session with Cas this week, and he’s looking forward to it.

Maybe his imagination is running on diesel here, but he swears that Cas’s smiles have grown from happy to adoring. More than once, hell, maybe more than a dozen times, he’s caught Cas staring at his lips. He also caught him staring at his ass a few times. But more than that, Cas seems to glow whenever Dean says something even half-way smart. Like he’s proud. And when Dean ends their sessions in a hurry to go to work or to pick up Sammy, Cas smiles like he’s seeing a miracle occur, like he thinks Dean’s something special. Sam still teases him about their tutoring time being dates, and last week, Dean would  have disagreed _\--did_ disagree. This week? Dean just rolls his eyes. Because they aren’t dates yet. But they could be. They feel like they definitely _could_ be. Maybe next week he’ll be calling his study sessions dates, too.

It’s stupid and foolish. He knows that. He knew it last week. Shit, he’s known for years that liking Castiel Novak was dumb, for more reasons than he could actually list. But right now, he’s ok with being that stupid. He’s studying English right now. You can’t be smart at everything all at once. If his heart gets broken--no, _when_ it gets broken--he’ll deal. He’ll learn from it. Right now, he’s going to enjoy it.

**DEAN:**

**U wanna do Beowulf and burgers tonight or what?**

**DEAN:**

**Also u buying the burgers? Or you want me to swing by some place and pick em up?**

**CAS:**

**Yes, Dean. Of course, I’ll pick them up for our dinner. <heart eyes emoji>**

**CAS:**

**It would make me very happy to cook for you, Dean, but I understand if you prefer I buy them for you. <heart emoji><bee emoji>**

**DEAN:**

**You’re one weird little dude Cas**

**DEAN:**

**But ur smart**

**DEAN:**

**Kinda hot**

**DEAN:**

**Lukewarm really**

**DEAN:**

**Still an asshole**

**DEAN:**

**But maybe ur alright**

**DEAN:**

**On average**

**DEAN:**

**I suppose I COULD let you make me some burgers.**

**CAS:**

**REALLY?!?!?!?**

**CAS:**

**Thats wonderful dean ill swing by the store on the way home and buy the necessary ingredients!!!! See you soon!**

**DEAN:**

**Yeah, yeah. This is gonna be a great night. Monsters. Burgers. What else could we ask for?**

**DEAN:**

**PS**

**DEAN:**

**Dont get too excited. It’s not a date. Creeper** **;)**

Dean shakes his head and smiles at Sammy as he reaches the Impala.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“People can just surprise you sometimes, you know?”

“You talking about Cas?”

“Yeah, you know? Normally, the guy is a freaking grammar nazi in his texts. Like, everything is perfectly spelled, commas just where they’re supposed to be.”

“Ok? So he’s taught you appreciate proper texting etiquette? Cuz you could use that lesson.”

“No, he just . . . He wanted to cook burgers for me. When I told him he could, he basically lost his shit. His text looks like a six grader wrote it.”

“So like you wrote it.”

“Shut it, bitch,” Dean says with a laugh.

“Jerk.” Sam laughs to and then adds, “Seriously, I’m glad you’re getting along with Cas. He seems like a good guy.”

“Yeah.”

That night, Beowulf goes well. Burgers go better.

“Damn, these are awesome! I should never have doubted you.” Every bite Dean takes is amazing. “I was worried you would poison me, but wow.”

“I practice quite a bit. I know you enjoy burgers, and I wanted to get them right.”  

Dean smiles and goes back to eating, and each time he moans around a bite, Cas looks like he’s watching a rocket go off. There’s that smile again. The dude’s thrilled and all because Dean’s eating a dinner he made.

This is a date.

And Dean’s not upset by it. Heck, he’s so happy about it that he agrees to Cas’s suggestion that they work together this weekend cuz that means their next “date” will be soon. When Cas asks him to spend the night so that they can get an early start, Dean hesitates, but he doesn’t say no. By the end of the night, Dean says yes to staying, to wearing Cas’s clothes, to sleeping in the same bed.

Dean’s heart is pounding because he’s not sure what to expect, but he’s pretty sure he’ll say yes to anything as long as it’s Cas who’s asking. When they lay down beside each other, it’s so different from this same moment just a week ago. They lie down facing each other, staring into the other’s eyes. And they’re both smiling. Cas rubs Dean’s arm and tells him how well he’s doing. How impressed he is with how quickly Dean’s mind works. When Dean just nods his head, Cas thanks him for letting him help. He says thank you so sincerely, as though that’s not backwards, as though it’s not Dean who should be thanking him.

When Dean whispers _Thank_ you _, Cas_ , stressing the word you and letting him know how much he appreciates the time Cas is giving up to make sure Dean gets his diploma, Cas’s hand tightens on Dean’s shoulder and his eyes continue to trace Dean’s face, moving from his eyes to his lips over and over and over. And Dean is sure that Cas wants them to kiss. So he leans forward.

They kiss until Dean is breathless. It’s wonderful and wet and eager, and the only thing bad about it is that it ended. Dean starts to move closer to Cas, hoping for an even better sequel, but Cas places a hand on his chest.

Dean panics that he’s read this whole situation wrong, that he’s royally fucked up, but Cas is still smiling. He’s holding Dean back, but he isn’t unhappy. He’s thrilled. This is freakin burgers-squared.

“‘What’s up, Cas? You’re saying no. But you’re smiling like you’re having all your birthday parties at once.”

“That’s an accurate description, Dean. You have no idea how apt that analogy is.”

“Apt analogy? Are you trying to tutor in my English right now, Cas?” Dean teases, laughing, finally relaxing, now that he knows Cas is has happy about the kiss as Dean is, maybe more. “Are you gonna keep using alliterative phrases like apt analogy all night or are we gonna make out some more?”

“I do want to kiss you again. I plan on it, in fact. But I think we should talk first. I don’t want to mess this up. Let’s get up and talk about us in the morning. I’ll make coffee. And I’ll try out the pancake recipe I researched last week--”

Dean’s heart stutters at the word _us_ , but he can’t help teasing, “You telling me you planned this, Cas?”

“It wasn’t so much a breakfast plan, Dean. It was a breakfast hope. A wish. As you say, it’s like all my birthday wishes came true.”

“And tonight? We just pretend nothing happened and sleep?”

“Tonight? Tonight we snuggle, Dean.”

When they wake up in the morning, Cas is wrapped around him like an octopus and it’s awesome. They snuggle each other as they slowly wake up. Cas is grumpy in the morning, and slow to rise, but when he finally gets coffee started, the smiles begin and so do the soft touches. And Dean is on cloud freakin’ nine. It’s comfortable. It sounds stupid, but they move around each other like they’ve been a couple for a long time, and maybe he’s being silly or immature, but he’s glad that they get to have this. Even if it does have an expiration date on it. Dean even starts smiling, too. His shoulders lower and he lets his guard down. And it’s perfect. For about 5 minutes.

**UNKNOWN:**

**9 a.m., Saturday, Riverside office, w/ Winchester**

What now?” Dean asks, thumbing open his phone.

“Hmmm?” Cas hums, distracted and focused on getting out tools for making breakfast.

Dean shows Cas his phone. There’s another text from another unknown number, the third one in as many weeks.  “What do you think this is?” he asks.

Cas’s mouth is stern, determined, and his eyes are terrified. Whatever this is, it can’t be good.

“That’s a message from my mother’s secretary. We’re being summoned.”

“Well, fuck” Dean said.

“Yes, fuck.”

Less than an hour later, Standing with Cas outside Naomi's office, Dean feels like he’s outside the gates of heaven awaiting judgment—scratch that. It’s like waiting for the elevator to descend into the depths of hell…knowing you were in for some high-level torture as soon as you landed at floor zero.

Staring up at city hall where Governor Naomi Novak did her daily work. Dean felt his gut churn. What a way to make an impression…wearing clothes he'd worn for two days straight. Greased stained pants and s slightly frayed T-shirt. As long as she didn't know he was wearing her son’s underwear, things should be all right? Right?

The last three weeks had been almost too much to handle. He was sure Naomi would see right through him and his jeans and see how much this kid from the wrong side of the tracks wanted her son…and didn't deserve to even be friends with him.

It's not like she would be wrong. He was Castiel Novak. Basically a city prince. A future doctor. Likely Valedictorian. 

And here Dean was, nearly a high school failure set to defend the time he'd spent with the golden son of the city. Gabriel was an ass. Naomi had to have seen that photo. And she probably knew how much time they’d spent together. And that time could be explained away. She’d believe her son was a philanthropist willing to help the less fortunate graduate high school? But if she’d seen that damn photo . . . how was he going to defend a cuddle with this guy?


	5. Chapter 5

**DEAN:**

**On my way home Sammy**

**DEAN:**

**Dude, u wouldn’t believe my day**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**This day has to end before it gets any weirder…**

**DEAN:**

**I had plans with Cas for this afternoon, but if it’s cool with u, ur gonna be my excuse to cancel**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**Is mom home yet? Or u need me to do the lunch thing?**

**SAMMY:**

**I heard from Stanford**

**DEAN:**

**Yeah?! <open smile emoji>**

**SAMMY:**

**Yes, they called me**

**DEAN:**

**Whoa. Dude you rated a phone call?!**

**DEAN:**

**Must have been damn impressed!**

**DEAN:**

**They give you a scholarship too?**

**SAMMY:**

**No, Dean.**

**SAMMY:**

**They told me no.**

**DEAN:**

**What?!**

**SAMMY:**

**Said they had too many quality applicants**

**SAMMY:**

**They were sorry…**

**SAMMY:**

**You know the drill**

**SAMMY:**

**It’s fine. Maybe I can still get into UCLA**

**SAMMY:**

**And KU isn’t a terrible place to do undergrad, right?**

**DEAN:**

**Those fucking idiots don’t deserve you!**

**SAMMY:**

**I’ll be fine**

**SAMMY:**

**Just wanted you to know.**

**DEAN:**

**When u graduate from UCLA and become a big hot shot lawyer**

**DEAN:**

**They’re gonna feel like shit**

**DEAN:**

**You’ll show ‘em Sammy**

**SAMMY:**

**I know you wanted this for me…**

**SAMMY:**

**Thank you, Dean.**

**DEAN:**

**No problem, man**

**DAN:**

**Shit. I’m sorry Sammy**

**DEAN:**

**Want me to bring home one of those milkshakes u love?**

**SAMMY:**

**They’re fruit smoothies, Dean. But sure**

**SAMMY:**

**Thanks < :) simple emoji>**

**SAMMY:**

**You’re a great big brother**

**SAMMY:**

**Jerk**

**DEAN:**

**Bitch ;)**

**~ 5 min later…~**

**DEAN:**

**Hey**

**DEAN:**

**You said they called you?**

**SAMMY:**

**Yeah**

**DEAN:**

**That’s fuckin weird**

**DEAN:**

**What time did they call?**

**SAMMY:**

**Right before you called**

**DEAN:**

**What?!**

**DEAN:**

**They called this morning!?**

**SAMMY:**

**Yeah, just now pretty much**

**DEAN:**

**I can’t believe this shit Sammy!**

**DEAN:**

**I wish I’d never met that fucker!**

**SAMMY:**

**What are you talking about Dean?**

**DEAN:**

**What school calls for that?**

**DEAN:**

**They send form letters to all the rejects man**

**SAMMY:**

**Maybe they were really considering me**

**SAMMY:**

**Maybe they hope I go to grad school there?**

**DEAN:**

**What admissions douche is in his office on Saturday morning Sammy?**

**DEAN:**

**I had a “meeting” with fucking Naomi Novak today. She reams my ass in a non sexy way for almost two hours**

**DEAN:**

**Then I leave…**

**DEAN:**

**And a few minutes later my little brother gets a phone call telling him to fuck off?**

**SAMMY:**

**Schools are busy at this time of year. Maybe they were just working extra**

**DEAN:**

**Not fucking likely**

**SAMMY:**

**?**

**DEAN:**

**I’m saying those damn Novaks screwed up ur life Sam!!**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean, why would they?**

**SAMMY:**

**They aren’t bad people.**

**DEAN:**

**You said Naomi was a legacy there? Right?**

**SAMMY:**

**Yes**

**DEAN:**

**Well she hates me man**

**DEAN:**

**She would definitely pull something like this**

**SAMMY:**

**Why would she hate you?**

**DEAN:**

**For getting too close to her precious little angel**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean, even if she “”hates” you**

**SAMMY:**

**Which we don’t know that she does**

**SAMMY:**

**Why would that affect me?**

**DEAN:**

**They know u matter to me!!**

**SAMMY:**

**They?**

**DEAN:**

**Naomi and her hell spawn Cas**

**SAMMY:**

**Dean, there’s no conspiracy**

**SAMMY:**

**I just wasn’t good enough**

**DEAN:**

**I wish I could look at people the way u do Sammy**

**DEAN:**

**But I don’t know**

**DEAN:**

**I don’t trust em**

**SAMMY:**

**Castiel seems to genuinely like you Dean**

**SAMMY:**

**I’ve thought that for a while**

**DEAN:**

**Sammy, u don’t know the half of it**

**SAMMY:**

**He looks at you, I don’t know, like you’re Cinderella or something**

**DEAN:**

**Aw come on Sam!**

**DEAN:**

**Don’t call me fucking Cinderella**

**SAMMY:**

**Elsa?**

**DEAN:**

**Only if I can make a snowman that can flip u the bird**

**SAMMY:**

**Really, Dean. don’t get pissed at Cas. this is probably nothing.**

**SAMMY:**

**You were so happy yesterday. You like him, too**

**DEAN:**

**It’s all bullshit, Sammy.**

**DEAN:**

**I never should have spent time with him. He’s leaving. He’s leagues away from me, and his family knows it. Hell, he knows it, too.**

**DEAN:**

**Fuck, those Novaks bring me nothing but trouble.**

**DEAN:**

**I’m just going to keep my head down till I can get out of Lawrence and get clear away from them. All of them**

**DEAN:**

**Giant bags of dicks, Sammy, seriously.**

Dean tosses his phone down into the passenger seat. He should have known. He should have expected this. No, he _did_ expect it. That’s the worst part. He knew this was coming and he’d been fucking stupid. Just walked right off the cliff. Last night, he’d acted like a fucking girl. He was so sure that Cas really liked him and wanted to take things slow. He’d been stupid enough to feel relieved that maybe Cas wasn’t going to treat him like another hook up. But who was he kidding? Cas was probably waiting for the morning to make sure that Dean knew he’d have to walk away when it was all said and done. And keep it private. No need to kiss and tell. Not when you’re kissing a Novak. And he’d walked right into it. And that was fine. Except now Sammy was involved. Shit.


	6. Chapter 6

**CAS:**

**Dean, should I expect you at my house soon?**

**CAS:**

**I know meeting with my mother set our schedule back**

**CAS:**

**I’ve been waiting for you to start pancakes. I thought we could have brunch…**

**DEAN:**

**Not sure I feel up to it.**

**DEAN:**

**Might need to pass**

**CAS:**

**Did my mother upset you, Dean?**

**CAS:**

**I’m terribly sorry**

**CAS:**

**I’ve told my family that they have no right to choose my friends…**

**CAS:**

**Even if they find those people objectionable**

**CAS:**

**Due to their lack of funds, status, family name, or education…**

**CAS:**

**I still have the right to choose my own path.**

**CAS:**

**And the people I care about are outside their realm of concern or control.**

**CAS:**

**After listening to their foolish, though well-intentioned, advice the last three years…**

**CAS:**

**I just couldn’t sit idly by and allow this year to end…**

**CAS:**

**Not without telling you…**

**~5 minutes later…~**

**DEAN:**

**Tell me what Castiel?**

**CAS:**

**Are you CERTAIN you feel too ill to join me for brunch?**

**DEAN:**

**Just spit it out**

**CAS:**

**Would you mind if I called you?**

**DEAN:**

**Sorry. Cant.**

**CAS:**

**This is simply the kind of thing best said in person**

**DEAN:**

**U typed a freakin essay and now ur choking at the end**

**DEAN:**

**Just get it over with man**

**CAS:**

**I like you, ok!?**

**CAS:**

**I’ve liked you since Freshman year**

**CAS:**

**For years I tried not to.**

**CAS:**

**It has always been so glaringly obvious that we weren’t from the same worlds…**

**CAS:**

**Our friends are so different**

**CAS:**

**Our futures seem destined to take us in opposite directions, but…**

**CAS:**

**I’m always thinking about you.**

**CAS:**

**My eyes can’t seem to land anywhere but you whenever you’re around**

**CAS:**

**I’m constantly desperate for news of you…**

**CAS:**

**You accused me last week of stalking you, but…**

**CAS:**

**Honestly, you aren’t far from the truth.**

**CAS:**

**I love you.**

**CAS:**

**Each year only leaves me more convinced…**

**CAS:**

**That you’re the only person I will ever feel this way for.**

**CAS:**

**I’m just hoping that when we graduate…**

**CAS:**

**We won’t lose touch.**

**CAS:**

**Maybe we might date?**   
  


**CAS:**

**You could even move with me.**

**CAS:**

**My mother will be upset. She’ll try to convince that you’ll slow me down, that I’ll lose focus, that no doctor marries a mechanic, but I don’t need her approval. She needs to accept that I make my own choices, even if they seem like mistakes to her.**

**CAS:**

**I know it’s sudden, but…**

**CAS:**

**Nothing is really holding you back.**

**CAS:**

**I have secured an apartment for myself in Baltimore**

**CAS:**

**With room enough for both of us.**

**CAS:**

**We could start as friends…**

**CAS:**

**I’m sure there are garages that would employ you there.**

**CAS:**

**You see, I even know that you work nearly full time at your father’s old garage. (Stalking again, you are truly so interesting to me, Dean).**

**DEAN:**

**Cas, I don’t think that's a good idea.**

**DEAN:**

**But thanks anyway man.**

**DEAN:**

**Hope u have a real nice life**

**CAS:**

**After everything I’ve said…**

**CAS:**

**That’s the response I get?**

**DEAN:**

**If I hurt your “feelings” or whatever, dude, I’m sorry**

**DEAN:**

**Not like I meant to**

**DEAN:**

**I wasn’t too excited about the tutoring stuff anyway, remember? At least not at first.**

**DEAN:**

**And I definitely didn’t ask to be dragged through this crap with ur mom and ur asshole brother**

**CAS:**

**Well excuse me**

**CAS:**

**For trying to help you graduate and for giving you shelter after your mother abandoned you at school and for loving you**

**CAS:**

**Maybe you wouldn’t be so angry if I hadn’t admitted how very different our families are?**

**DEAN:**

**Fuck u man!**

**DEAN:**

**Are u crazy?**

**DEAN:**

**You think I’d ever seriously date the asshole who beat my ass in Freshman Year?!?!**

**CAS:**

**Was I supposed to be happy that you were pursuing my older sister?**

**CAS:**

**You had quite a reputation…**

**CAS:**

**Though you’ve settled down the last few years.**

**DEAN:**

**Oh! And now you want the reformed super slut? Is that it?**

**DEAN:**

**You must have a savior kink**

**CAS:**

**That’s what you think of me?**

**DEAN:**

**I’ll let you in on a few little secrets Castiel**

**DEAN: First, I don’t need you to save me or take pity on me. Offering me a place to stay, a job at a garage, I don’t need that.**

**DEAN:**

**I’m up for an engineering scholarship at Georgia Tech.**

**DEAN:**

**Second, I wasn’t after Anna Freshman year.**

**DEAN:**

**Yeah, i was flirting with her**

**DEAN:**

**But I was doing it to get close to you**

**DEAN:**

**And, sure, I went a little wild that year. Slept around. Whatever.**

**DEAN:**

**My dad fucking DIED the summer before**

**DEAN:**

**I wanted to forget everything**

**CAS:**

**Dean, how was I supposed to guess at your feelings?**

**DEAN:**

**Then I saw you**

**DEAN:**

**And I thought**

**DEAN:**

**Wow**

**DEAN:**

**That’s who I’ve been looking for**

**CAS:**

**You never said…**

**DEAN:**

**I don’t even tell my brother shit like that**

**DEAN:**

**You think I’m gonna cry on the shoulder of a fucking stranger?**

**DEAN:**

**But don’t worry**

**DEAN:**

**Our first and last “conversation” freshman year set me straight**

**DEAN:**

**Funny how much a mild concussion clears shit right up**

**DEAN:**

**Hell, you know me. Good old Dean Winchester. He’ll fuck anything that moves, right? Well, you’re the last guy in the world that I would ever wanna be with.**

**DEAN:**

**And even if I was willing to overlook the beat down you gave me, you think I’d ever love a guy whose family just fucked up my brother’s future?**

**CAS:**

**What are you talking about Dean?!**

**DEAN:**

**Sammy’s dream has always been Stanford**

**DEAN:**

**And now because you wanna have a fling with the town reject my brother is heartbroken**

**DEAN:**

**You know, I kept my promise from Freshman year right?**

**DEAN:**

**I stayed away from you and your precious family.**

**DEAN:**

**For three goddamn years I stayed away**

**DEAN:**

**Now do me the same fucking favor**

**DEAN:**

**Stay away from me.**

**DEAN:**

**More importantly stay away from my brother!**

**CAS:**

**I see.**

**CAS:**

**From your point of view, I am certainly beyond redemption.**

**CAS:**

**I apologize, Dean, for taking up so much of your time.**

 


	7. Chapter 7

**CAS:**

**Hello, Dean**

**CAS:**

**I don’t wish to upset you**

**CAS:**

**And I promise, after this, I’ll be out of your life utterly.**

**CAS:**

**I am not texting you to bring up what was so disturbing to you the last time we spoke.**

**CAS:**

**I assure you, I have no wish to cause you more pain or anger.**

**CAS:**

**Certainly I do not desire to embarrass myself further.**

**CAS:**

**What I wished for yesterday is best put behind us**

**CAS:**

**You made that clear. Yet…**

**CAS:**

**I simply cannot continue with your not knowing the truth.**

**CAS:**

**I am sorry for demanding your attention**

**CAS:**

**For making you once again subject to the whims of myself and my family, but…**

**CAS:**

**It hurts to know that my actions have convinced you that I see little of value in you, that**

**my interest in you is due to a “savior kink.” Nothing could be farther from the truth.**

**CAS:**

**The last time we talked you gave me words of explanation about your actions four years ago. That was a kindness, Dean, one I know I did not deserve. I have not earned your trust. I see that now.**

**CAS:**

**I know it is too late now to try to earn your trust, but I would like to be as honest with you as you were with me.**

**CAS:**

**Dean, first, let me say that I would never wish your brother harm.**

**CAS:**

**I do not know him well, but I have witnessed his hard work, his kindness.**

**CAS:**

**More than that, your affection for him defines everything you do.**

**CAS:**

**I would do nothing to jeopardize his future.**

**CAS:**

**If my family had anything to do with his chances at Stanford, I regret that deeply.**

**CAS:**

**If my mother interfered, I _will_ find some way to make this right.**

**CAS:**

**Your faith in and your hope for your brother Sam is…**

**CAS:**

**I have no words for it, Dean.**

**CAS:**

**It is beyond anything I have ever experienced. Sam is lucky indeed to have someone love him as loyally and as deeply as you clearly do.**

**CAS:**

**I say this sincerely.**

**CAS:**

**Though I know you believe that I think you lacking**

**CAS:**

**If only you could know how truly wonderful I think you are…**

**CAS:**

**It is true that much of my family would disagree. I cannot express how deeply I’ve come to regret how they feel... What they taught me to feel and to think. It is unforgivable.**

**CAS:**

**Rereading our messages yesterday shows me how completely I have failed in every imaginable way to understand you, to respect you, to see you completely. Even as I hoped to earn your affection, even as I learned more about you, I was always half-blind.**

**CAS:**

**When I remember what I did and said to you years ago…**

**CAS:**

**Dean, I feel the most agonizing shame.**

**CAS:**

**My anger at you four years ago began with a fear for my older sister.**

**CAS:**

**I know I can trust you with Anna’s secrets. You are a good man, an honorable man.**

**CAS:**

**Know only that outside my mother, Anna, and myself, no one knows what I speak of now.**

**CAS:**

**Before our Freshmen year, Dean, Anna had fallen in with a rough crowd.**

**CAS:**

**On the night of her sixteenth birthday, she disappeared. She was gone for three months. She abandoned her credit card, her phone, her name. She was lost to us, and no forces my mother employed could find her.**

**CAS:**

**When she finally returned home, she was in poor shape. Worse, she confessed to me that she believed herself to be pregnant.**

**CAS:**

**And she had no idea who might be the father**

**CAS:**

**She was afraid of our family’s opinion, but she wanted my help and advice. She said she wanted her brother’s help. She was a freshman. I was in eighth grade. I did what I could, which is to say we stumbled through.**

**CAS:**

**Thankfully, we learned that she was not pregnant, and we believed that Anna’s days of worry were behind her.**

**CAS:**

**But my mother found out. She always finds out.**

**CAS:**

**When she learned about Anna’s possible pregnancy... She beat my sister Dean. It was a nightmare. Anna was so vulnerable. So unhappy. I felt helpless.**

**CAS:**

**Even today, our mother calls Anna fallen.**

**CAS:**

**And refuses to give her any freedom or trust.**

**CAS:**

**The year that you met Anna, our mother yelled at her, ignored her, abused her.  She would hardly look at my sister except to harangue her.**

**CAS:**

**And Anna barely spoke inside our home.**

**CAS:**

**The only time I saw her laugh or smile was when she spent time with you.**

**CAS:**

**When you showed her attention…**

**CAS:**

**I feared you would hurt my sister as she had already been hurt.**

**CAS:**

**I won’t say again the hurtful words I’ve said before. I know, now, I was wrong about you.**

**CAS:**

**I understood so little of what you were truly thinking and feeling.**

**CAS:**

**Back then, when I saw you with Anna, I was so worried.**

**CAS:**

**When I confronted you four years ago about your intentions toward her and you made that joke…**

**CAS:**

**I was just so angry.**

**CAS:**

**I pictured my sister, alone, and hurt, and afraid all over again. And I hurt you.**

**CAS:**

**It was months later when I finally realized that my anger wasn’t simply that of a brother protecting his sister.**

**CAS:**

**Watching you laugh with your friends…**

**CAS:**

**Day after day, thinking about you…**

**CAS:**

**Watching over you.**

**CAS:**

**Even when you were with your friends. I was angry, spiteful, confused. I knew then that I’d been not only protective of Anna but jealous of her.**

**CAS:**

**I am so sorry.**

**CAS:**

**Words won’t change the past.**

**CAS:**

**I know that. Words won’t undo all I’ve done and said to hurt you, won’t erase all I got wrong.**

**CAS:**

**I see now I’ve done damage enough.**

**CAS:**

**I can only hope my words here give you some peace because you’re wrong about yourself.**

**CAS:**

**I never wished to save you, Dean.**

**CAS:**

**I had hoped you might save me.**

**CAS:**

**Thank you for reading “my essay,” as you say. It means much to me that you would take the time to read my thoughts--especially knowing how little respect and concern I had for your thoughts and feelings in Freshman year.**

**CAS:**

**I wish you well.**

**CAS:**

**Goodbye, Dean.**

Castiel lowered his phone. His hands remained loose around it, and he leaned back and closed his eyes, hoping it would buzz with a new message from Dean. Even though he intended to say goodbye and to leave Dean’s life forever...even though he _agreed_ he didn’t deserve a place in it, he couldn’t help but hope for some reply. He hadn’t known he would hope like this until now. But he was always naive where Dean was involved.

God, he’d been such a fool four years ago. There were rumors flying about Dean Winchester--the handsome dangerous stud who was always wild and ready to party. Cas had ignored the rumors in the first days of his high school experience.  They didn’t concern him. He was busy: busy with studying, with protecting Anna, with the list of clubs and classes his mother insisted he sign up for.

The rumor simply wasn’t on his radar. And there was no reason to connect those rumors with the cute young man that had caught his eye several times before in the first weeks of school. He’d noticed the boy with a wide smile, green eyes, and freckles, but he hadn’t said hello. He didn’t have time for romance.

At least that’s what he told himself when the boy he’d noticed weeks before started to spend time with his sister. But Anna seemed happy, and that was enough. After the hell that their parents had put Anna through, he would make any sacrifice to see her smile. If this boy made her smile, then Cas could support that. He would support it.. until it became clear that _this_ boy and Dean Winchester were one and the same. Cas had been livid. Suddenly, he couldn’t ignore all the whispering and stories that other students had to share about their escapades with Dean over the summer. He had quite a reputation for one night stands, and there was no _way_ Cas was going to let Winchester add his sister’ name to his list of conquests.

Every time he remembered the events of Freshman year, Cas hoped that what finally happened was 99% protective brother and only 1% jealousy, but he could never be sure, and that pained him. He’d been so angry when he found out that _The_ Dean Winchester was pursuing Anna. After asking around, he’d learned where Winchester usually spent his last hour of school, drinking away last period in the third floor bathroom. When Cas finally chased him down and confronted him, he learned that the phrase ‘see red’ was literal.

Cas threw the first punch. That much he clearly remembered. He shook his head, hoping to avoid the memory. That day haunted him. He remembered his rage, how he slammed the bathroom door open and stalked in, intense, determined, fists at his side, ready to fight. Dean had to know he was threat, but he responded to this with his typical bravery. Cas rubbed his face with his hands, frustrated. At the time, he’d felt proud. He was Anna’s brother. He was Castiel Novak, the popular and powerful son of the Governor, pure and simple. He wasn’t going to let some teenage alcoholic destroy his sister. He hadn’t understood anything then.

_Castiel slammed the door open, hoping he could trust the reports of Winchester’s whereabouts. He needed to end this fool’s dalliance with Anna, and he needed to handle it now. Winchester was sitting on the ceramic ledge near the window, he’s feet dangling. A nearly empty bottle of whiskey dangled from his fingertips._

_Winchester turned toward him, his eyes half-lidded. He smiled._

“ _Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.”_

_“What are your intentions toward my sister?”_

_“‘What are you intentions toward my sister’” Dean repeated, lowering his voice and smiling in a friendly way. “You talk like a walking dictionary. Must be pretty smart, huh?”_

_“Smart enough to know that my sister won’t hold your attentions for long.”_

_“Now, you’re right about that. You are smart.” Dean laughed and took another long drink out of the bottle. “Good at reading people, too.”_

_“I  know that you’re a devious, pretty pretender, Winchester.”_

_“Pretty, huh?” Dean put the bottle on the window sill and hopped down. “Does that mean that if I’m done with Anna, you wanna turn, Cas?”_

_Dean added a wink and Castiel snapped._

_Time seemed to slow down. Castiel pulled back his fist and sent it flying. The  punch was so swift, so strong, so angry that he felt the ache of it all along his knuckles. Dean had immediately put a hand to his busted lip; his eyes were wide, his mouth open. There’d been open shock on his face._

_“Stay away from Anna. Consider this your first and final warning. My family handles trash like you everyday. I will destroy you if need be.”_

_Dean’s eyes had flared with hurt and then burning anger. Then he launched himself at Cas,  and they pummeled each other. Punches. Kicks. At one point, Dean had gotten his arms around Castiel’s neck and put him in a headlock. Cas was using their proximity as an opportunity to punch Dean’s gut and groin. Dean had cursed. He’d finally yelled, “Fuck, Cas, stop. I get it. I won’t talk to her anymore. Stop punching and I’ll let you go.” Even drunk, Dean was strong, quick, hard to over power._

_Castiel raised his hands up, palms open and the pressure on around his neck lessened. As Dean let go and moved away, Cas pushed him off and stood up straight. The shove and Dean’s lack of balance sent him backward and his head hit the sink. Castiel heard a crack and rushed over._

_Castiel kneeled next to Dean’s head. “Oh my God! Dean! I’m sorry. Dean, answer me.” He checked for blood, but didn’t see any wounds. He needed to get help. He ran to bathroom door and started calling for help; when a teacher finally opened their classroom door, he went back to Dean. Thank God, Dean’s eyes were open. He looked dazed, but he was conscious._

_“Fuck. Hurts.”_

_“Dean, you’ve probably got a concussion. Just say still.”_

_“Shit.”_

_The teacher ran in, “Novak. Winchester. What’s going on?”_

_“We were figh--”_

_“I fell,” Dean said, cutting him off. “I fell. Was drinking. My bad.”_

_“Dean likely has a concussion. He needs to go to the emergency room. Do you have your phone, Mr.--”_

_“I’m fine. Be fine. Mom’s a nurse. No worries.” Dean was moving to get up, but his balance was terrible. He leaned heavily into Castiel and rested on his chest. His head rolled on Cas’s shoulder._

_“Be that as it may be, Mr. Winchester, you’ll be going to our school nurse, and you’ll be in a disciplinary hearing for the drinking.”_

_“It isn’t Dean’s fault, I--”_

_“He’s right. Not my fault. Saw the whole thing. There’s water on the floor, teach.” Dean snorted a laugh, but his eyes stayed close. He mumbled, “Shit. Dizzy as hell. Help me stand up.”_

_“No, Dean, you need to go the hospital.”_

_“Help me stand up, Novak. We don’t have the money for that. I’m fine.” Dean pushed back and tried to get his legs to cooperate._

_Castiel’s arms were already around Dean, and he wasn’t sure whether he should use them to hold Dean down or to help him up._

_“Help me up, Cas.”_

_Castiel stood and dragged Dean up with him._

_“Come on, Winchester.” The teacher pulled Dean away from Castiel and looped his arms around Dean’s torso. “Let’s get you to the nurse.”_

_“Thanks for the help, Cas.”_

That was the last words they'd ever said to each other. For years. Until he'd sent his first text. After the accident, Dean acted grateful in front of the teacher, and he’d protected Castiel whose thoughtless actions had surely harmed him. Castiel had spent so many months agonizing over how it had taken only minutes of being in Dean’s presence to know about the man’s soul. Dean had protected a stranger from disciplinary action, maybe even legal ramifications. He’d been worried about his family’s finances. Yes, he’d made a joke of Anna, of dating, of himself, but he was not the boy Castiel had learned about through rumors. He was more. It had taken Castiel years to learn just how much more, but he’d always hoped that a day would come that Dean would othank him for help and be able to truly mean it.

If he’d only talked to Dean first. If only he hadn’t gone in determined to put some random low-life in their place. If only…

Dean had liked him then. He’d been trying to win his attention, and the worse part was that he’d won it. Castiel had been curious about Dean,  at least until he’d heard the rumors. Dammit. He was a fool. If Dean was right about his mother’s connection to Stanford. The Novaks were among the worst things that happened to the Winchesters.

This year, Castiel had been at fault again. He’d been so hopeful when Mary Winchester said her son needed help. And he’d been selfishly thrilled the last few weeks. He’d been so eager and happy to spend time with Dean, to talk to Dean, to be close to Dean that he hadn’t thought about what it might cost him. God, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to tutor Dean if his work schedule hadn’t put him behind in class. Dean never complained. He never whined, but it wasn’t hard for Castiel to put things together. Usually, Dean did housework, went to his part time job, then came home and did his homework. He hated English, so that class came last. If he weren’t so tired and over-worked, he wouldn’t need Castiel’s help at all. He was bright enough. The only reason they were getting so much done now is that Mary had made Dean take a break from his work at the garage. Dean didn’t need a tutor. He needed time. Castiel had basically spent the last few weeks in heaven because Dean’s life was hard and he was in danger of failing. And now what had he done to Dean? What had his mother done?

It was time he said a true goodbye to Dean Winchester...as he should. He was no good to Dean. He never had been and now he never would be.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean stares at his phone, at messages that Cas sent a month ago. With only one week left before graduation, he won't deny that he’s done this before. He's spent hours reading and rereading and trying to put it all together. But each time, he decides its not worth it. Then today happened and changed everything. Thank fuck he didn’t delete Cas’s number.

Man, he’d been so pissed when Sammy called all brave after being rejected by his dream school. Sammy had Stanford banners up for years, kept his eyes on the prize, and then put on a damn poker face like it didn’t matter when they called to tell him to fuck off. And Dean had been so angry and impotent. What could he do after all against the Novaks? He’d grabbed his phone and was seconds away from deleting Cas forever and blocking his number, but he couldn’t do it. No matter how long his thumb hovered over the block button, he couldn’t do it. And for the last weeks, even after Cas’s essay-length explanation and apology, Dean had felt stupid and weak for not being able to delete the dude’s number, but today he was glad he had it.

  
**DEAN:**  
**Castiel…**

 **DEAN:**  
**Sammy heard from Stanford again today**

 **DEAN:**  
**They told him that he was accepted for the fall. Said he must have misunderstood them the last time they spoke. He was always on a wait list???**

 **DEAN:**  
**Said he was NOT rejected**

 **DEAN:**  
**When Sammy pulled out his formal rejection letter and started quoting it and then also quoted their phone call, they told him someone on their end had made a mistake**

 **DEAN:**  
**They were sorry for the confusion blah blah blah**

 **DEAN:**  
**Apparently he’s going to Stanford**

Dean waits to see the tell-tale typing indicator, but the chat is dead. He doesn’t even get a read notification. He puts the phone down and promises to wait until tomorrow to try again. Or at least a few hours. He didn’t mention that the admin that called Sammy had mentioned Cas by name, and he certainly wasn’t going to rat out the guy for telling him that Sammy had been recommended by Castiel and that “young Mr. Novak” had explained that his mother had meant to ensure Sam’s acceptance and that if he had to call about this again, his mother would be very displeased. The guy had pretty much made Sammy promise not to breathe a word of this, and Dean didn’t really give a shit about that bottom feeder. Anybody who bent over backward and now apparently forwards for Naomi wasn't going on his list of people to protect, but if Cas didn’t want Dean to know that he fixed this maybe he shouldn’t push it.

And that’s how he feels for about 2 hours...

 **DEAN:**  
**You have nothing to say?**

 **DEAN:**  
**You’re telling me you got nothing to do with this?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Come on Cas.**

~1 hour later…~

Dean manages to keep his cool and his silence for another hour, but each time he sees Sammy smiling and laughing like he hasn’t been doing for the last month, he can’t help it. Cas has always been a mystery and a puzzle to Dean, one he’s always wanted to solve, but now he just wants to say thank you. No, he _needs_ to say it. He blew the guy off and told him to stick it where the sun didn’t shine, and Cas rushes in like a knight in shining fucking armor and saves Sam’s future and takes on his mom, and all of this at the ripe old age of eighteen. And yet he’s running from Dean. And if Dean believes what Cas texted a few weeks ago, he's been pussy-footing around one of the high school’s bottom tier folks for years just trying to find a smooth way to say, “Hello, Dean.” How is the guy brave enough to take on his mom and Stanford and he’s too chicken shit to talk to Dean? Man, this guy drives him batshit crazy.

 **DEAN:**  
**Cas you don’t really expect me to believe they just made a mistake right?**

Dean spends the next two hours pretending not to glance at his phone. His keeps tapping his leg and its clearly getting on Sammy’s nerves, but he can’t help it. If Cas wanted out of Dean’s life, why’d have to keep putting himself in it? He can't really expect Dean let this go, can he?

 **DEAN:**  
**You’re just gonna ignore me?**

~8 hours later…~

 **DEAN:**  
**Ok Cas. I get it.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Thanks for helping Sammy**  
  
**DEAN:**  
**Not sure why you don’t want the credit**

 **DEAN:**  
**You basically made his life**

 **DEAN:**  
**Anyway**

 **DEAN:**  
**We’re one week away from graduation …**

Dean starts to type out one of Cas’s long essays, starts to talk about how he’d always wanted to put Lawrence behind him, even before his dad died. How since his dad passed after a head on collision with fate in the form of a fucking semi, his home doesn't feel like home anymore. And he just wants to get out and forget. He starts typing about how his run in with Cas had made that feeling so much worse. He wants to tell Cas how it had felt after that summer, seeing him for the first time. Dean was high as a kite. He’d spent the summer drunk off his ass and fucking anything that smiled in his direction, girls, boys, shit, he doesn’t even remember half their faces and few of their names. And he’d been in the cafeteria week 2 of school, poking at cold chicken nuggets and nursing a hangover and Cas had walked by, fierce eyes and determined and gorgeous. He looked like he was going to smite all the injustice out of the world. Dude was probably just thinking about the Lit Quiz in the next class, but that’s how Cas always was, 100% focused on everything he decided counted, no matter how small or unimportant. It had taken Dean a little over a month of watching the guy for Dean to figure that out, and another four years of close and embarrassed study to be absolutely sure. But each time he saw Cas with that stoic and intense look on his face, he’d hoped that one day he would matter like that, if not to Cas, then to someone.

He wants to tell Cas how the crush started way back then, and how he noticed that the thing Cas seemed most concerned about was his sister Anna, the hot Sophmore that everybody talked about for being wild the year before. It was stupid, a stupid plan by a stupid kid, but Dean was sure that if he flirted with Anna, he’d be noticed even if only on the periphery. Cas noticed everything about Anna. But what was the point? He deleted the words. Naomi hated Dean and his brother and Cas was about a thousand times out of his league. And they were days away from graduation. It was over.

 **DEAN:**  
**So.**

 **DEAN:**  
**This is it huh?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Have a nice life Castiel**


	9. Chapter 9

It was over. Finished. Dean was walking away from Lawrence High for the last time. Whenever he imagined this moment before, he always pictured how excited, how pumped he’d be to leave Lawrence and take the reins on becoming his own man. He thought he’d be laughing and slapping the shoulders of his best friends and exchanging hugs. And that had happened--mostly. Benny, Charlie, Jo, Kevin, hell, even Crowley joined him on the football field for pats on the back and photos. Of course, mom and Sam were thrilled. Smiles covered their entire faces, and his mom who was usually quiet, seemed unable to find a word she didn’t like. She’d been talking at record-breaking speeds as soon as she met them on the football field. _My sons are incredible. Can you believe it? Stanford and Georgia Tech! A doctor and an engineer! Who says single moms can’t be awesome? Just look at my boys._ As much as Dean loved seeing his mom and Sammy this happy, he couldn’t help but fake each laugh. High School was officially over, his diploma was in his hands, and while he was looking forward to heading to college in the fall, he couldn’t help the feeling that--even if he was walking toward one dream--he was throwing another away. Shrugging off his robe, he tried not to be obvious about looking around for Cas.

“Mrs. Winchester. Mrs. Winchester. Mary!”

“Mom, the Principal's calling you,” said Sam.

"What?"

“Oh! I’m glad I caught you!” he said, huffing and trying to catch his breath.

“What did you want to talk about Principal Smith?”

“I just wanted to congratulate you on your sons’ acceptances and scholarships. They’ve both done really well. It reflects well on you Mrs. Winchester.”

His mom smiled and then pretended not to be too happy about the attention. “My boys have both worked very hard. But we couldn’t have done it alone. Your teachers helped my boys go to some of the best schools in the country.”

Dean smiled and tried to keep from rolling his eyes. His mom was the cutest fake-humbler he’d ever seen in action.

“Yes, we are so happy to have helped them, Mrs. Winchester. This years’ graduates have done so well. Stanford. Columbia. Georgia Tech. Emory. It’s quite a year for our school.”

“Emory? That’s in Atlanta, too, isn’t it, Dean?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, wondering who in their small graduating class was headed to Georgia, too.

  
“Yes, yes. Castiel Novak will be attending there. Turned down a scholarship at Johns Hopkins if you can believe it. Still, Emory is one of the finest research universities in the country.”

“Wow, Dean. Imagine that. You’ll be right up the road,” Sam added, with a wink.

Principal Smith kept talking about how he wanted to share all their graduation data and scholarship info online and in the school newsletter, but Dean heard none of the conversation. The world around him faded to white noise. A few weeks ago, Castiel has been set to move to Maryland, college acceptance behind him, apartment arranged, and now he was going to Emory? Dean felt dizzy. He needed to turn in his man card. Seriously. He was about to have a fit of damn vapors in the middle of a parking lot and all because Castiel had done it again: come out of left field and knocked him on his ass. He pulled out his phone:

 **DEAN:**  
**Dude, you’re going to Emory???**

Again, Dean scanned the parking lot, hoping to catch sight of Cas. They had to talk about this.

 **DEAN:**  
**I thought u had ur sights set on Baltimore**

 **DEAN:**  
**And now ur headed to Atlanta?**

Dean typed as fast as his fingers would allow. He had to know what Cas was thinking.

 **DEAN:**  
**And going to Emory is just coincidence? It’s an accident that you’ll be going to school in the same city as me?**

 **DEAN:**  
**You knew I was going to Georgia Tech.**

 **DEAN:**  
**I told u**

Dean waited, hoping Cas would answer. If the guy would ever drop the stoicism and actually talk to him... Dean hated having to second guess everything. Everybody else he’d ever kissed, “dated,” desired, whatever, it was simple. The moves were all the same. The same shared laughs. The same flirty looks. The shallow conversations. The quick fumble under clothes. The sex. The see-you-never shuffle out of their room in the middle of the night. With Cas, he never knew where he stood or what he wanted. And he sure as hell could never figure out what Cas wanted.

His mom said goodbye to the Principal, and they all packed in to the car. When Dean turned down driving in his distraction, his mom gave him a look, but said nothing.

 **DEAN:**  
**I had to to hear about ur plans from the principal? During the graduation ceremony?**

 **DEAN:**  
**You gotta stop pulling this kind of stuff Cas.**

Dean gnawed on his lip, his nerves frayed. He read over his texts and worried they seemed more angry than surprised. When Cas still hadn’t replied by the time his mom pulled in The RoadHouse for the graduation party, he wrote:

 **DEAN:**  
**Congratulations on being Valedictorian by the way.**

  
An hour and a hamburger later, Cas still hadn’t replied. Dean knew what he wanted to hear, but he wasn’t going to be the one to put into words. They graduated today. And even though they were headed to the same city in a few months, Atlanta was home to over a million people. It wasn’t like they’d run into each other at the corner store. But Dean had done his fair share of chasing. He didn’t believe in fate, and he sure as shit didn’t believe in just rolling over. He was a fight-til-you-die kind of man. But when it came to loving somebody, he’d learned to leave well enough alone. Sure, Dean and Cas had a chance at being a couple, at being happy. It felt good being around Cas, more comfortable around him than anybody, even Sammy. How it happened, what it meant, he didn’t know. He was an engineer, not a damn soul expert. But soul mates and good vibes be damned. Their chance at being something more was now or never, and if Cas wouldn’t respond, it was never.

 **DEAN:**  
**Fine.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Atlanta’s big enough for both of us.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Congrats on Emory, Cas.**

 


	10. Chapter 10

Dean woke up to the sound of pounding on his bedroom door. There was drool on his chin and his phone was still clutched in his hand. He sat up and scratched at the pillow wrinkles on his cheeks. He tapped the phone. No new messages.

“What do you want Sam?”

“Dean, come downstairs.”

"I'm tired, Sammy. What do you want?"

"Mrs. Novak's here. She's downstairs."

"What?" Dean yelled, throwing aside his sheets and leaping out of bed. "What?" he repeated when Sammy didn't answer.

"She looks angry, Dean. Don't make this worse. Hurry up," Sam stage-whispered.

"Fuck." Dean muttered. He didn't want to see this woman, and he definitely didn't want to anger the person who could pull strings and destroy his brother's future. What a hell of a way to wake up.

He debated changing his clothes, brushing his hair, washing his face, or even putting on shoes, but he figured wasting Naomi Novak's time was a bigger sin than looking like a slob, so he just swung his door open and jogged down the stairs. He needed to get through a few minutes with this hell-spawn. He could do that.

He rounded the corner and there she was. A monster in a pantsuit.

"Mornin'."

"Good morning, Dean. This is your brother, I presume."

"Yeah. Yes, I'm his brother Samuel. It's nice to meet you," Sam said eagerly, extending his arm for a handshake.

Naomi stared at it like it was an alien thing. "I need to talk to Dean. Alone."

After Sam shuffled out of the room, looking like a kicked dog, Naomi focused her eyes on Dean. "I'm sure you understand, Dean, why I am here."

"'Fraid not." Dean said dismissively. He didn't have a clue, and if he never saw this woman again it would be too soon.

"Dean Winchester, I warn you that my family will not be trifled with."

"Lady, I got no idea what you're talking about."

"I have heard a rumor that you intend to live with my son, Castiel. That he and you have arranged to attend university together. Although I know that is impossible, I did not want to injure my son by asking him directly." 

"So you came here, why?"

"Castiel is ambitious. He has a successful life ahead of him. He has tried to distance himself from you--from people like you--who will interfere with his goals. I want what's best for him. He and I agree that his life requires very few distractions.

"Don't try and spin this. You don't think I know you've put pressure on him. You don't want him to see me."

"Of course not. I merely want what is best for Castiel."

"And what's that?"

"Currently, it is clearing up this ridiculous rumor that he will follow you to whatever pathetic institution that will have you."

"If it's so damn ridiculous, why'd you come here to ask if it was true?"

"I know it is a falsehood, Castiel would have told me of his plans. I have come for your word that you will stop circulating this rumor."

"I haven't said anything like that to anyone."

"And can you tell me that you've never heard others say this?"

"And now you want me to gossip about this rumor to you? You're talkin' in circles, lady." Dean's hands slapped against his thighs in frustration.

"I want to hear you affirm the truth. Does Castiel plan to follow you?"

"You just told me that idea was ridiculous. You told me you didn't want me to spread the idea that he was. And now you want me to verify if it's true or not?"

"Castiel is going to the finest medical school in the country. He will be hundreds of miles away from you."

"Then why don't _you_ get that far away from me. If the dude's gone from my life for good, why are you here? Haven't you done enough to mess with my family?"  

"I did tell my friends at Standford to vette Samuel well. What would you expect? I'm scared for my son. However, if you will answer my questions, I will do what I can to sponsor your brother. I know how dear he is to you."

"Save it. I don't trust Novaks. And that means I don't trust you."

"And yet, you're still texting my son. I know you're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way. If he did, there might be something..." Naomi feigned a sympathetic smile. "He's a focused boy with very little time for dalliance, but he'd had his fun, and now he's moving on. I know you don't want to believe it, Dean, but we're on the same side. We both want the same thing. Our families' success."

"Whatever, lady."

"Tell me once and for all, do you have plans to live with my son?"

"I don't."

"And do you promise, to secure your brother's future, to never have plans to build a life with him?"

"I won't promise that. I never will. I don't owe you anything. You have fucked with my family in every way you can. You aren't welcome in our home. Have a good morning. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"Unbelievable. I never--" The skin tightened around her eyes and mouth. "You realize I'm the Governor--"

"For now. Who knows what'll happen in November."

Naomi shook her head as if to clear it. She was angry. Her cheeks were red. She looked like she would have hit Dean, if news crews could be trusted not to tell the world, she problem would have. Damn.

Dean was pissed off and not a little scared. Telling the mother of his crush to fuck off was stressful--especially when she was the Governor. His heart was racing. And he was starving. He could think of only one thing to do at a time like this. Bake. 

 **DEAN:**  
**Something’s coming round to your house.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Call it a graduation gift.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Don’t turn it down. Just say thanks.**

~30 min later…~

 **CAS:**  
**Thank you for the pie, Dean.**

 **CAS:**  
**Sam told me you sent it with “warm wishes.”**

 **DEAN:**  
**Dude, I sent it. Nothing warm except for the pie.**

 **CAS:**  
**Samuel told me you baked it yourself**

 **CAS:**  
**That means a lot to me.**

 **CAS:**  
**Thank you, Dean.**

 **DEAN:**  
**I love baking.**

 **DEAN:**  
**What can I say?**

 **DEAN:**  
**I’m awesome.**

 **DEAN:**  
**I even made it with honey instead of sugar**

 **DEAN:**  
**Since ur in love with bees**

 **DEAN:**  
**Among other things ;)**

**CAS:**

**My mother...**

**CAS:**

**She also told me some things.**

**DEAN:**

**ok?**

**CAS:**  
**Dean, the last time we spoke you made it clear that I was the last person in the world you could love. Have your feelings about me changed?**

 **CAS:**  
**If they haven’t, I won’t trouble you again.**

 **CAS:**  
**I swear it.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Come on, Cas.**

 **DEAN:**  
**If you want honesty from me**

 **DEAN:**  
**You gotta start with some of your own**

 **DEAN:**  
**You always come at everything sideways and backwards**

 **DEAN:**  
**Be straight with me now**

 **DEAN:**  
**No pun intended ;)**

 **CAS:**  
**Dean, what do you want to know?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Did you help Sammy with Stanford?**

 **CAS:**  
**I don’t want you to feel obligated.**

 **DEAN:**  
**So that’s a yes?**

 **CAS:**  
**Yes.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Are you coming to Atlanta for me?**

 **CAS:**  
**Does that matter?**

 **CAS:**  
**As you say, Atlanta is very large.**

 **DEAN:**  
**And that’s another yes.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Why are you doing all this Cas?**

 **DEAN:**  
**You gotta know that we wouldn’t have just run into each other. There's like a freaking million people there. What were you hoping to accomplish by moving to Atlanta?**

 **CAS:**  
**Dean, you’re too honest to toy with me.**

 **CAS:**  
**You have to know I did it for you.**

 **CAS:**  
**Dean, i can’t help but hope…**

 **CAS:**  
**Please, just tell me, honestly.**

 **CAS:**  
**Do you still want me out of your life?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Yeah, u call it honesty**

 **DEAN:**  
**But u know if I’m jerk enough to tell U to fuck off once, I would do it again**

 **CAS:**  
**You aren’t a jerk, Dean.**

 **CAS:**  
**You care about your family.**

 **DEAN:**  
**I care about a lot of things Cas.**

 **CAS:**  
**Could I be one of them, Dean?**

 **CAS:**  
**Not now, but perhaps one day?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Cas**

 **DEAN:**  
**I just baked you a pie with a heart cut out in the center**

 **DEAN:**  
**What do you think?**

 **CAS:**  
**I’m not terribly sure.**

 **CAS:**  
**We never seem to be on the same page, Dean.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Well, u started this little text fest weeks ago with a quote right?**

 **DEAN:**  
**How do you want the story to end?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Tell me and I’ll let you know if we’re on the same page**

 **CAS:**  
**and they lived happily ever after?**

 **DEAN:**  
**Dude, you are so gay.**

 **DEAN:**  
**So you wanna be my princess? ;)**

 **CAS:**  
**I’ll settle for being your husband.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Whoa**

 **DEAN:**  
**When you decide to be honest you don’t hold back huh?**

 **DEAN:**  
**So you wanna be my husband…**

 **DEAN:**  
**Don’t you think you should start by showing me you can be a good boyfriend?**

 **CAS:**  
**I have a whole pie here…**

 **CAS:**  
**Want me to bring it over?**

 **CAS:**  
**I know how much you love pie.**

 **DEAN:**  
**Not a bad start, Cas.**

 **DEAN:**  
**I’ll be waiting.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the dynamic and beautiful art created by Liz. Links to her work: [Link](http://wheres-cas.tumblr.com/post/172413633320/heres-the-art-i-created-for-pies-and)

Dean pocketed his phone and went to the front porch to wait. He knew Cas lived a 20 minute drive away, but he couldn’t sit down inside and watch TV like nothing had happened. This wasn’t your average, typical Saturday morning. This wasn’t time to munch on Cheerios and act like the guy he’d been staring at for four years and dreaming of hadn’t just offered to be his stinking husband. Sure, that was probably a joke, but the guy had reorganized his entire life to fit his with Dean’s even when there was pretty much zero chance that it would matter. When Cas had turned down Johns Hopkins it was almost guaranteed that they would be only miles apart but never seeing each other. Cas had put himself in a hopeless position because, like Dean, he seemed unable to let go even when that was the case. Dean laughed. Looked like they had that in common at least.

They were different in so many ways. Their personality. Their temperment. Sure as shit their social class. But what they had in common was being the world’s most profound pair of dumb asses. He knew Cas would disagree. Cas would probably tell them that he preferred the term hopeful or trusting. Less dumb. Less ass. And Dean would probably agree. Yeah, he’d agree. But only if this worked out.

He paced on the front porch until Cas pulled up in his Prius… he glanced at his watch ten minutes later.

“Speeding, Cas? Pretty careless.”

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean jogged down the steps and stopped less than a foot away from the man he thought he’d never talk to again. “If we’re living together in Atlanta, we’re taking Baby. Not that fucking Prius.”

“Yes, Dean.”

“So you going to agree to everything I say now, Cas?”

“No, Dean.”

“What’s up with these one word answers?”

“Two-word answers, Dean.”

“Oh my-- Fuck. Really. What’s wrong with you?”

“I guess I’m afraid to say much. At this moment we seem to have a very delicate truce. I don’t want to do anything to disturb the balance.”

“It’s not that delicate, Cas. We been dancing around this for years. You’re holding a pie I made for you. Cuz of a choice you made, we’re moving to the same city in a few months, shit, less than 8 weeks. We both probably want the same thing.”

“Yes, Dean.”

“You gonna make me say it, Cas?”

“Everytime I try to say it, I get it all wrong, Dean. I don’t want to burden you with being the communicator in our relationship, but…”

“You sayin’ we got a relationship?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“Need more than that from you, buddy.”

“You were right about me, Dean. About everything. About my family. I was raised by a cold mother in an empty home, and I thought that I would leave that house and build another quiet space for myself. On my way to building a career, I would date people with whom I had a number of things in common. Eventually I would meet someone that I could bear to look at every day and someone I trusted to raise children. We would marry. I had no real hope of lasting love or affection. Divorce was likely. It seemed a sad way to live, but it was the only one I knew. It didn’t seem a duty that was too onerous. Then I saw you. Saw the way you loved your friends, your brother. I learned what family could be, Dean, from watching you. And suddenly I wanted more.”

“Okay.” Dean said, his palms starting to sweat, wondering what Cas would say next.

“I decided to follow you to Atlanta because I am sure that I was made for you, even if you weren’t made for me. I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. I love Anna, and I care for my mother. My friends and family are dear to me. But the only person I feel at home around, the only person I hope to see very day, the only person whose laughter lights me up on the inside--even when I’m the one their laughing at--is you, Dean.”

Holy shit. Dean’s mouth went dry.

“Following you to Atlanta meant that there was some small chance that our last text messages weren’t the end. It meant that there was some small possibility that my promises to stay away from you and from Sam weren’t the last promises you’d ask of me.”

“Cas...”

“I know it sounds extreme. It sounds slightly off kilter. But…”

“Slightly? Dude, we haven’t had a date yet and you’re claiming everlasting love?” Dean shook his head, still unable to believe this was really happening. His hands were shaking. Meanwhile, Cas we standing in the driveway, holding a damn pie, looking to all the world like they were discussing the weather. “You’re saying that, like, out loud?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“Here we go again. Two-word answers.” Dean rolled his eyes. “You are one weird dude.”

“Yes, Dean.”

“How can you say stuff like that? How can you know? There is no _we_ , Cas. But if there was, _we_ would be a damn mess. We’ve sure made a clusterfuck of the last four years.”

Cas took a step forward and now mere inches separated them.

Dean laughed, the pie was the only thing between them.

Cas smiled. “I’m a very determined man, Dean. Stubborn even. I can make you happy or die trying. And you’ll make me happy just by being you.”

“You think you can guarantee a happily ever after, dude?”

“I promise, Dean.”

“Come on inside. I need time to digest all this and it’ll go down easier with some pie and ice cream.”

“Can I consider this our first date, Dean?”

“You just don’t know when to quit, do ya, man?” Dean said with a smile. His words were hard, but his heart was beating fast, and he was happy. Really freakin’ happy.

“No, Dean. I don't know when to quit.”

Dean grabbed the pie plate and took the porch steps two at a time, praying that his mom and sam knew enough to stay out of the way. He heard the porch door smack closed and Cas’s boots walking behind him, but he didn’t turn around. On the way to the kitchen, he saw his mom and Sam in the living room. The TV was off and they were both pretending to read. He noticed that his mom’s magazine was upside down.

He tossed the pie in the microwave and grabbed a half-gallon of ice cream out of the freezer. Tossing the carton on the round kitchen table, he searched in the drawer for spoons. He still wouldn’t look at Cas. He wasn’t sure how a Novak would respond to the humble freakin splendor that was the Winchester house. When the microwave beeped, he spun around only to find Cas already there, grinning ear to ear and pulling out the desert. His smile gummy and bright and thrilled.

Cas placed the pie plate at the center of the table, and sat down, placing his hands in his lap and looking up expectantly at Dean.

“Normally, I’d heat it back up in the oven. Doesn’t take long, and it’s a lot better that way, but...!”

“It’s fine, Dean. I’m excited to eat another one of your pies. They’re wonderful.”

Right, Cas had been his pie fanboy for the last few years. Dean laid down paper towels and then put a spoon on each one. He wasn’t trying to make this fancy, but he was too nervous right now to be himself.

“Have a seat, Dean.”

“Yeah, ok.” he said. He plopped down. He should have gotten plates, but it was too late now. Grabbing his spoon, he took a huge bite and gave Cas what he hoped was a casual wink. “S’good,” he mumbled.

Cas picked up his spoon, looked at it for a few seconds and then put it across the table in front of an empty chair. Dean was about to ask him if it was dirty or something and then Cas opened his mouth and leaned forward.

Dean laughed. “Holy shit, dude. You want me to feed you?”

“You said that we could make this a date.” Cas placed his palms against the table and leaned forward again. "It’s more romantic this way, Dean." Cas opened his lips again, and this time he closed his eyes.

Dean scooped up some pie and some ice cream, too, and laid the spoon on Cas’s lips.

As Cas chewed, his eyes remained closed, but he hummed his appreciation. Dean couldn’t help but blush. This guy made him ridiculous. He’d had sex with girls in nearly public situations and Cas humming and smiling over his pie made him shy?

Cas opened his eyes and stared for a full minute. “That was very good, Dean. May I have another bite?”

“Uhhh. Sure.”

When Cas made no move to grab the silverware, Dean huffed a laugh. “You’re taking this romance thing pretty seriously, huh?”

“I decided to take 'giving up' out of my vocabulary. I’m pretty sure, I’ll do all right.”

“We just might a Winchester out of you yet, Cas.”

“I hope so, Dean. I really do hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story! There will be an epilogue. I am scheduling a post-graduation time stamp that is one year later in their relationship. It’s set in Atlanta and it’s full of fluff. I am scheduling it for Thursday, May 10, the week of my own grad school graduation! Whoo-hoo! It will be posted as chapter 12 of this fic. :)


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean just found something VERY interesting in Cas's sock drawer...

**DEAN:**

**Holy shit! Mom, Sam, Charlie!!!! Help!**

**Sam:**

**What's going on?**

**Mom:**

**Are you ok???**

**Charlie:**

**What's got you freakin'?**

**DEAN:**

**Look what I just found in Cas's sock drawer!!!!!!!!!**

**[pic attached]**

* * *

 

 

Dean, You ~~always~~ speak the truth from your heart. I ~~want to~~   ~~plan to~~  will do the same ~~today~~. You've shown me the value of being open, of being honest, of being brave. [Kneel down. DO NOT FORGET] ~~Will you marry me?~~  Be brave with me, Dean. Please, be my husband.

[If he doesn't say yes or seems upset] It might seem that my feelings have jumped from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. ~~But~~  The truth, Dean, is that I've loved you for years, and I'll know I'll continue to love you the rest of our lives. ~~Beyond life... if there is a world beyond.~~  Will you be my husband, Dean?

[If he seems worried about settling too early or too young] People change so much over time, Dean. There is something new to be observed in them for ever. I am certain that I will observe new things in you that make me love you more every year we are together.   ~~I only hope that I will continue to bring you joy in~~                                            ~~Do you think that being my husband could be something you could enjoy Dean?~~                                                                         ~~We will both be going through so much in the years to come: Graduate school, residency, internships at companies and at hospitals~~

[If he's worried about mother]  ~~~~ ~~My mother will eventually understand. My mother will probably think that the gay vote will help her win. My mother will eventually die. My mother doesn't matter in the face of how much we love each other.~~ You've shown me, Dean, how to stand separate from my mother, how to follow my will and my heart. My family will not control me. They will not change how I feel about you. They will not get in our way because together we are stronger than the Novaks. You taught me that. Will you be my new family Dean? Will you be my husband?

[If nothing seems to be working] ~~Dean, I know we're meant to be together. In any town, in any universe, we would find each other.~~ I love you, and I always will. Marry me, Dean. You're my family. I love you, all of you. ~~Everything about you makes me overwhelmed. Please, please let me spend my life with you.~~

 

* * *

 

**MOM:**

**He has a practice proposal speech written out? How cute!**

**Charlie:**

**That's like Han and Leia  level love man. A crumpled up notecard full of desperate love... says it all. He is so gone on you.**

**SAM:**

**Is no one else worried that they've only been in Atlanta for ONE WEEK!**

**SAM:**

**This is stalker level stuff, Charlie! Does he watch you sleep Dean. Jeez!**

**MOM:**

**Is there a ring there too honey?**

**SAM:**

**Mom, of course there isn't a ring. It's way too early!**

**DEAN:**

**[pic attached with engagement ring]**

**SAM:**

**Oh my god**

**MOM:**

**Oh my God!**

**Charlie:**

**Oh my hand maiden! This is true love. You gotta say yes!**


	13. Epilogue (Part II): Thirteen really is Unlucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The original chapter 13 and 14 have been cut and moved to Part 2 of the series. I am keeping this place holder chapter here to minimize confusion and to avoid deleting kind comments. A bonus scene of the MOVING DAY has been added for your trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience with my remodeling. The original chapter 13 was simply more of a second story than an epilogue. <3 See End Notes for more info.

Bonus scenes: Dean and Cas's moving day.

 

9:10 a.m. 

Cas checks his watch for the hundredth time since 9 a.m. Dean wants to laugh; he does. This is Cas at his cutest. But he knows Cas'll probably get mad at even a chuckle.

He's squinting at his Rolex and then glaring down the street, trying to puzzle out why the delivery van is late. He's cranky because he finds it hard to operate before he's had a nearly lethal dose of caffeine and because Atlanta's a big change from Lawrence. In Atlanta, Cas is just a guy who paid a delivery fee. He's not a Novak. He's not the son of the Governor. He's just a guy... a cranky one. An adorable one. Dean hides his smirk behind his coffee cup.

"Where could they be, Dean?" Cas says looking at his watch again. "Don't they care about promises they make to clients?"

Dean's definitely not gonna be the guy that tells Cas that normal people spend a lot of time waiting.  "Yeah, babe. They care. But they're running late. You know traffic here is terrible. You found that out with all that research you did this summer. They'll be here soon."

Dean taps the curb next to him. Dean started this vigil sitting. He wasn't new to this rodeo. When they give you an arrival of nine to ten, you prepare for sometime between ten and ten-thirty. Cas is new to this whole normal-guy rodeo. "Come sit with me, man. Now, we can drink our coffee, finish our breakfast. Come on, just chill and eat this honey bun, Cas."

Cas glances at the food, and then down the street. Then he looks longingly at the spot beside Dean.

"You know you wanna cuddle, you creeper. Come on." Dean says, reaching out and grabbing Cas by the wrist. "It's lonely on this curb, Cas."

Cas sighs like he's 100-years old and weary with the world's disappointments and finally sits. "It's dangerously hot in Atlanta, Dean. We only have a few hours of time where we can move in."

"Cas, we can sweat a little. We're not going to die."

"It'll be 80 degrees in an hour and the day will just continue growing hotter. I'm not going to risk watching my boyfriend who _never_ hydrates enough suffer heat stroke because these . . . these--"

Dean leans over and kisses Cas cheek. "I'll drink this bottle of water you insisted on buying. I'll be fine. If not, I can look forward to being saved by a hot, young pre-med student." Dean winks.

"It's not funny, Dean." Cas says, looking down the road again for the van.

Dean just shakes his head and gives up on hiding his smile. He reaches out for Cas's hand and links their fingers together. "If we gotta wait, let's at least get comfortable."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original chapters 13 and 14 are being made into chapters 1 and 2 of a new short story about the Proposal Implosion (it's light angst with a happy ending). So I am posting a new chapter 3 today and will post chapter 4 on Friday or Saturday. Thanks for sticking with my story, readers and for giving me support in your comments. One comment suggested that I could keep this series going cuz I love this couple. I'm thinking I might need to add a part three ten years into their future. Doctor Cas! Eeeee!


	14. Epilogue (Part III): This IS an Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The original chapter 13 and 14 have been cut and moved to Part 2 of the series. I am keeping this place holder chapter here to minimize confusion and to avoid deleting kind comments. ANOTHER bonus scene of the MOVING DAY has been added for your trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience with my remodeling. The original chapter 13 was simply more of a second story than an epilogue. <3 See End Notes for more info.  
> (See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Bonus Scene: 9 p.m.

Castiel moans as Dean's fingers rub deeply into the muscles in his lower back. 

"You like that, Cas. Feels good?"

"Mhmm," is all Castiel can manage. The horrid delivery van arrived at 10:17. After wasting several minutes fussing with signatures and paper work, the door of the van slid open at 10:30, and their work began. . . But not before Dean saw the contents.

Castiel had ordered all he felt was necessary for their apartment and he had not scrimped. It was essential that they start their life together with all the proper materials. Dean might be thinking only of dorm-living, but Castiel wanted a home. And he ordered all the things he felt they needed to make one.

As lovely as Dean looked throwing his head back and laughing a full bodied laugh, Castiel admits to feeling a little embarrassed, especially when Dean couldn't stop laughing and needed to lean on his knees. He took several deep breaths, before he muttered a broken, "You've got to be kidding me. No wonder you were having an aneurysm about the guys making it on time. It's going to take forever to get all this stuff upstairs. Shit, Cas, will it all even fit?" 

"Cas, babe. Next time we move homes, you gotta go slow."

Castiel's heart flutters hearing Dean call this their home and say they'll do this again. He takes a deep breath. He feels better hearing that Dean believes they'll still be together long enough to need to move again.

"Cas, I think you pulled your back when you tried to take in 3 boxes at a time."

"Mmm." He's right, but Castiel won't admit it. Dean will be upset if he knows for sure that Cas has been in agony since 11 a.m. "Maybe."

"We're all moved in," Dean says rubbing more menthol lotion into Cas's muscles.

It feels like he's died and gone to heaven. Dean should consider being a masseuse. He's got magic hands. On second thought. Castiel will save all this pampering for himself. 

"We got all the boxes in the right rooms. The beds are made. Towels and our travel cleaning stuff is in the bathroom. The 83 pieces of kitchen utensils are spread of the counter. As soon as we can clear the decks, I can make us some breakfast in the morning. We're pretty much set for the night and the morning. Let's take the unpacking at a glacial speed, babe." Dean says, leaning forward and kneading at Castiel's knotted muscles. He's sitting on Castiel's backside, and it's a testament to how hurt and tired he is that Castiel feels not the slightest sexual pull. 

"Mmmm."

"What I can't figure out, though, is what we're going to do with all this furniture."

Castiel cracks open his eyes and scans their living room floor. They are resting in the small space between their living room table and the unlit fireplace. But all around them is a cluster of couches, chairs, pillows, side tables and lamps that clearly will not fit in this space. 

"You were right this morning, Dean. I . . . I over did."

"You think big, Cas."

"I think irresponsibly. I spent most of my savings. And I clearly did so irresponsibly."

"Babe, your back is spasming. Stop stressing. And definitely stop using the big words."

Dean lays his body flat and his chest warms every inch of Castiel's back. Dean's weight feels wonderful. Castiel smiles and takes a deep breath. Leave it to Dean to take care of Castiel's back and his heart at one time. Castiel will never figure out how to be worthy of Dean Winchester.

"We'll figure it out. I know we will. We're awesome." Dean whispers in his ear, rolling his thumb over the muscles in Castiel's shoulders. "Only thing we're missing now, Cas, is pie."

Cas chuckles. "I love you, Dean."

"I know." 

 


End file.
